A peek inside...

(Recent Entries) (Archive) (Friends) (User Info) (Queen Sheba dot Org)
Navigate: (Previous 20 Entries)

(Oya Xclusive) (Word Up V) (Poetry Slam Inc.)

Aug. 5th, 2007

02:39 pm - Black Nationalist

Black Nationalist

na•tion•al•ist
Spelled Pronunciation[nash-uh-nl-ist, nash-nuh-list]
Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun
1. a person devoted to nationalism.
2. (initial capital letter) a member of a political group advocating or fighting for national independence, a strong national government, etc.
–adjective
3. Also, na•tion•al•is•tic. of, pertaining to, or promoting nationalism: the beginnings of a nationalist movement.
4. (initial capital letter) of, pertaining to, or noting a political group advocating or fighting for national independence, a strong national government, etc.


August 2005 I was banned, well not banned, ‘cause I could attend, if I wanted to, but not allowed to compete in, so...like...put on probation from returning to the National Poetry Slam competition (PSI) for two years, after (we’ll make a long story short) speaking my mind. Interesting that I was “banned” from a place, an organization, participating in a ritual of poetry, song and sharing that supposedly encourages free thinking. Such as life. That was two years ago. Myself along with several others were put on probation for different levels of involvement and different times and severities. I was given the harshest punishment....

Of course, my love for the sport never changed so when I moved to Atlanta I continued to bring slam to the urban scene by co-founding Twisted Tongue with Tommy Bottoms.

We fast forward to August 2006. A year ago, I returned to my “home slam team” (for those readers who have no idea what slam is on a national, or any level...real long story short); Slam Started in the early 1980s by a man in Chicago named Marc Smith –yell “So What!?!” here-he thought poetry was too cerebral and wanted to bring poetry back to the people so people could understand and go back to enjoying it. He invented the actual sport called ‘Slam’. He owns the word ‘Slam’ like owning NFL or NHL or NBA. We casually use the word Slam to mean “poetry reading” sometimes when people are unfamiliar with it’s history and true purpose. So from now on know that Slam means competition not ‘reading’ or open mic. He started putting teams of poets together and having teams compete for a national title. I believe, and I’m not sure, you can reference psi.org for the history, the first National Poetry Slam had 4 teams from close proximity to Chicago. Today it has grown to over 70+ teams from around the world. My first slam team was the DC/B’More team in 2002, then the Norfolk team 2004, then Charlotte, NC from 2005 to today. 2005 being the wheels that spun a lot of my thinking about poetry, slams, people, and poets into what it is today...another blog. Don’t get me wrong, its’ not all bad, actually, it has changed my mind, for the better about a lot of things. Hence my new approach to life since then. Anyway....

August 2006, the slam season, for any team, usually starts around August/Sept and lasts until about April/May. Since I knew my ‘ban’ was going to be lifted for the August 2007 Nationals (Nationals is in a different city every 2nd weekend in August where the 70+ teams gather to compete for the National title. In August 2005 we, Charlotte, NC got 1st...eh, 2nd...whatever...) I started slamming again. Brushed off old poems, exercised new ones, won a few, placed in the top 3 in a few and earned enough points for the Charlotte finals this past April.

The top 5 poets from whatever city’s finals make up the competing team for the summer. From May-August there are several regional team slam competitions that teams from all over the country attend. The one for our region, the SE region of the country is called Southern Fried. This year it was held in Columbia, SC. Whatever team I was/am on since 2002,that has attended SF has gotten on finals stage. In the regional and national competition, no matter how many teams start off the competition it comes down to the final 4, yup, like Basketball.

This year, the Charlotte, NC team is made up of Bluz, Carlos, Mike Simms, Tavis Bunsen, and myself. Unfortunately, Tavis, encountered some serious health issues within the last week and could not come with us to Austin, TX this year. Never “in his place” but taking the vacant slot on the team is Paul D, from Atlanta after his “win” at our last chance slam this past Thursday in Charlotte. Talk about by the skin of his teeth.

I did not go with the team last year to Austin, even for support. I couldn’t, well, I wasn’t ready. Taking the fall for a movement that seemed so prevalent then, while others sat back and tossed boulders and laughed was something I wasn’t prepared to deal with just yet. I just got acclimated to the move to Atlanta, was starting to make moves and had just accepted my writing sabbatical might last a little longer than I planned.

After 7 months of slamming, in March I win the qualifier for the women’s slam in Charlotte. That slam will take place in Chicago next March, after blowing off the Grand Slam Champion win (on purpose for the sake of fun) at the Charlotte finals, and taking 2nd place on the team (Carlos won...I let him ;-) ) after a summer of endless practices, trekking up to Charlotte in the middle of every week to get with team, after loosing a teammate to an almost fatal illness, helping to piece the team back together emotionally, dealing with the real rookie of the team and his over anxious, behavior (of course I have patience, I see me...you know the whole saying...) I believe, now, like I believed when I first joined the Charlotte team and vowed my loyalty to them (under certain stipulations with management) that we have the best combination, including Tavis’ well wishes and spirit with us, possible.

We flew into Austin, TX yesterday, where the NPS will be held this year and drove to Dallas for an invitational slam tonight. We were all whipped from staying up the night before to catch a 6am flight and then drive, what should have been 3 that turned into a 4.5 hour trip to Dallas. We checked in to our hotel and damn near fell out. Mike went out with an old friend and runs into one of the Denver teams, I cut my hair, polish my nails and ...you guessed it!... watched Law and Order until I fell out! Mike comes stumbling in at ...who knows...what hour blabbing about what a great time he had at this open mic he found...

Early to bed means early to rise, I wake up about 730am today and hit the food. We hadn’t eaten since our disaster lunch experience at a Papadoux’s here in Dallas. Go figures, I was so excited about Sea Food in Texas and then the service was not only terrible but confusing. The waiter was so emotional he damn near wanted a hug...it was wild...

Today is an invitational slam for 15 specific teams that were invited by the Dallas slam community to “see” what nationals is in for. They have this every year and invite who they think are the ‘threats’ of Nationals. This is our first year being invited. We’re stoked. Nationals starts on Tuesday (wish us luck!) back in Austin. We’ll pack up and drive tomorrow morning, while sobering up.

If you can imagine what a NPS is like, imagine over 500+ poets from around the world plus another 100 staff and volunteers, competing for a week, partying and kicking it and networking, in our own way. It *is* the best way to find out what’s going on in the country on the poetry scene.

Am I anxious about Nationals? Seeing all those people again after the infamous two year ban? Naw...remember, you don’t die with regrets...you live with them. Always do what you want to. “...live for the moment, because there might not be ...another one...”

Anyway, we changed hotels this morning to the host hotel for our invitational slam tonight, eat, swim, practice and win. What a great way to start off the week! [keep in mind this is written at 2:10pm and the slam starts at 7pm ;-) ]

Check back, daily for the juicy gossip, updates and scores from Nationals this week!

See you at the damn album release party!

-Bethsheba

Current Location: Hotel lobby free internet!

Current Mood: Curious!

Current Music: Amir Sulaiman...Change gonna come...

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

Jul. 16th, 2007

Jun. 25th, 2007

Jun. 4th, 2007

06:40 pm - What is your Addiction?

Ok, I'm up for air now...I have shot two music videos, a photo shoot, and have been working deligently on my album all while getting fired from a job I was working at for free for needing too many days off for poetry! hahaha..



The famous line of "How do you get fired on your day off?" can apply only to those that have something, clearly, more important to do, like follow your dreams. I picked up, as I have been every Summer since I moved to Atlanta, a part time job. The loyal readers will remember my stint at MetroPCS when I told the owner of the store to kiss my ass when he told me I had to fucking vacuum? Then last summer when I worked at the Home Depot corporate office and damn didn't leave at the end of the summer because the work was minimal and I was getting the equivalent to $45k a year for …nothing! Ahahha, when they hired the red-afro-black-fist-pumping chick in a skirt for the supervisor position? Ahhsh…this summer,…well, worse than a kid in a candy store, more like a crack-head in a crack-house, Platos Closet, my shortest "summer job" yet. Clearly because the summer hasn't even really started and I'm already fired! Hahaha…



For those that don't know what Platos Closet is, it is a clothing store ('nuf said right?) that buys-sells- and trades GENTLY used clothing that is trendy and in style NOW. The reason I emphasize this, is because I had to learn that Plato's is NOT thrift store! Hahaha…myself and other unknowing victims would come in there and dump out all the shit in our closets that we didn't want any more, with holes, stains, smells (ok, not me…but some people would bring in shit that straight smell like…shit!!) and that is not what Plato's does…thank God for me!



We, welll…they…take clothes that you have worn ONCE OR TWICE and is still in EXCELLENT shape and will buy them from you at a % of what they are going to sell it for. Great concept because I got: a Louis bag, Adrian what's her face, a couple of other dope bags, BCBG shoes (remember this is Atlanta) lots of Polo, Hollister, Arden B, and Express Ts and tanks, and Karen…what is her name…and Betsy Johnson skirt. Now, you already knoooow!! That I love clothes! Woo hoo! The thing about getting dressed is that you can wear name brands, just don't pay name brand prices! I feel great out in my "new" Express hot pink dress for $10!! Are you kidding! You can't tell me shit in my new gold sandals for $8! Whaaat?? You are buggin!



So, Kim, the co-owner of the Sanctuary, Malik's better half, and I were talking about addictions and I was telling her that I have a shopping addiction. Now, it doesn't have to be for clothes and shoes/accessories. It can be for: paint, baby bottles, carpet, cars, car parts!, wood, appliances, and it doesn't have to be for me. It can be for you, yo' mama, your sister, it is something about the combination of: OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder-which I learned I have also, and looking back over the years can clearly see it but before all these clinical terms was called "Being Organized" haha) the Rollling Stone disease and being a rock-star-artist, the transaction of goods for currency is a high for me. Why? I don't know.



The OCD thing is because I like things nice and neat and in order and aligned at all times, from the house, to the car to relationships. That is why when relationships go aria it throws me all off balance. I am a 'fixer' I like to "fix" things, people, whatever. That would imply there is something wrong with either them or me, and of course me being a Leo, it's NEVER me! ;-) So, the OCD contributes to my shopping addiction because everything has to be new, and fresh, and shiny. How OCD starts is, (and clinical studies shows that everyone has some level of OCD) on a scale of 1-10 I'm an 8.5. This means that everything has it's place, but it doesn't have to be exactly lined up corner to corner. It can be in a pile as long as the pile is neat and all the colors match, like laundry for example. How OCD is manifested is by a loss, a major loss. The loss is 9/10 times extremely personal and close to the person that is acquiring OCD. Me, for example, I lost both my parents, then my second set of parents, then every "boyfriend" I got, I thought would last forever because that's what they do in the movies and what my 2nd set of parents did. They got together, fell in love, and stayed together.



So if the 8th grade boyfriend said he "loved" me, then I believed he meant, forever. The next day, when we broke up, I was devastated. So there was never a stable ground. The premise behind OCD is that if you make you/your life nice and neat and shiny and clean and "in order" these people or these things that "left" you, will return once they see how "together" you are. In most cases, the thing that set the OCD off in the first place never returns. It is usually a death or tragedy, like divorce.



Anyway, so Kim and I were talking about addiction, and most times when talking about shopping addiction, people will laugh it off and say "oh, isn't that cute" Well, if you listen to one poet, you've listened to the story (Not talent!!) of them all. And every single poet, INCLUDING MYSELF, has a poem or at least a reference to men/women making materialism their priorities. This comes from way more than OCD but I wouldn't discount it. I was telling her that a shopping addiction is just as bad as a drug addiction.



The same characters in our poems, are ourselves. When you start to sacrifice your priorities for materialism, we have fallen into the same "trap" we are preaching about. Don't limit "materialism" to just close and shoes, think, alcohol, going to the club, going out to eat instead of eating at home…all those things equate to a materialistic world and as poets we add a few more bracelets to our arms next to our $115 Lucky Brand dress that you had to sneak in the house in the closet next to your other 90 dresses and new shoes so your mate doesn't "notice" (ooooh…maybe that is me hahaha) Like they don't notice one week you have 40 pair of shoes by the end of the month you have 140??? People aren't that stupid J …we add a few more bracelets and some eccentric jewelry and we can justify the means to the end for "the cause".



Kim was the first one to really "get it". When you start sneaking around like a crack head for things we don't need, it has become an addiction.



Let me say this right now!!! I am NOT saying, don't look nice, don't go shopping and don't buy name brand clothes!! I live in a real world with real people under real influences. I AM saying, there are hundreds of underground artists and designers that make GOOD clothing and jewelry that charge just as much as the stores but aren't killing children to do it. THERE ARE name brand clothes you can get from places like Rag'O'Rama (Atlanta only) and Plato's Closet (country wide) This is 2007 and I have said it before in a blog and a million conversations, the day of the starving artist is over and NOT CUTE. It is not something we should glorify, but in the effort to support independent businesses (Plato's is a franchise and you can own one! –If you hire me, I'll promise to show up…occasionally ;-) ) we should search out those that are on their grind.



So buying 2nd hand is cool because you are not contributing to the vendor at all, just to the independently owned store. Ok, ok…my lucky brand dress was a treat…geeez….



Lets clean out our closets and look up a Plato's in your area, or if you are in Atlanta go to lil'-5 points to Rag'O'Rama and sell some of our GENTLY USED (no stains no tears and IN STYLE NOW) items back to these stores, clean out the items you haven't worn in months and are trying to loose weight to get back into! ;-( Don't pressure yourself, it is not you, it's the clothes! And lets get some late spring/early summer cleaning going! Take those bags to the stores, get a couple extra dollars back on those credit cards – the whole point of this is to take the money you get from your clothes to apply to our debts we acquired from our addictions, not to re-shop! And run!! Out of the stores!!



Cleaning out our closets is metaphorical too for cleaning up our lives! We'll be able to think more clearly and prioritize our lives!



Restrict yourself to shopping once a month as a treat, not every Saturday as a priority and we are on our way to recovery…the first step is:



Hi! My name is Bethsheba (Hi….Bethsheba) and I'm a shop-o-holic.



12 Steps to Shop-O-Holic recovery:

1- Admit you have a shopping addiction!

2- Clean out your closets! –Literally and figuratively. Get rid of the people in your lives that drive you to shopping!

3 Take things back to the store that have had tags on them for more than 3 months!

4 How many pair of black shoes/boots do you really need?: Limit your purchases to alternative colors!



I want to hear from you! Think of the rest of the steps to recovery! And we'll post them officially!



5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12



The beginning...





-Bethsheba

Current Location: At the home office, gotta love it!

Current Mood: hungry

Current Music: Amy Winehart

(Leave a comment)

Mar. 21st, 2007

05:41 pm - Deflated

I am going to try and be brief and get a few blogs in, in one.

First, First. Thank you to everyone that has donated to my new Below the Radar project featuring my 5th album Domino Affect. I am raising $50k for this entire project, 3 music videos produced by Shiny Nickel Productions, a “self”-sponsored 3 country tour, the album, to include the guests, and all the promotional material that will come for two years after it is released.

If you’d like to join the hundreds (I’m not making this up, you’ll have to read the entire blog to see) that have already donated please send a PayPal to queensheba811@yahoo.com and/or go to my main page and Pre-Order Domino Affect there. Every dollar helps. I’ll explain more below.

The album features: Phillipia-ATL, Julie Dexter-England/ATL, Maestro, Fisiwe, Paul-D, Kelly Love Jones N.O.-ATL, Bon Ton from New York, by way of Memphis, TN, Malik Saalam-ATL and Tabi Bonney Washington, DC. With additional music produced by: Jason Kemp from Norfolk, now in ATL, (that I found by sending out a MySpace request for music so look out when someone, especially me, sends out a request for business, that is what I’m here for and his beat is PERFECT) and Nes-Lee (his album release party is this Sat 24th at Vynle) I have put a call into W. Ellington Felton’s manager, so we’ll see how that turns out. If you see/run into him, tell him to hollah at me. The album is being produced at the World Class Namaste Studios in Cumming, GA (ATL suburb) by Nick Chawahla (Who’s band is performing above Nes-Lee’s album release party this Sat-wild right?, at The Loft so you can catch them both) and his team. It is amazing, amazing, amazing so far and we just got started.

So, as you can see, this album is going to be no joke…I’d appreciate all of your donations. And yes, yes, I’m raising my own funds, writing grants, amateur night at the strip club…etc. J

Second-First, I had the quietest trip through Florida ever. Hahaha…inside joke…kinda. I was in Florida for a week about two weeks ago. I had been meaning to blog about this but since I was so busy promoting for Twisted Tongue Round II, I really hadn’t had time. The U of Miami brought me to Miami to perform on March 7th and I had a blast. Before getting to Miami, I stopped in Jacksonville, Fl and I want to say that I didn’t realize until that very night in Jax, how many supporters I had there. I was truly shocked. Really, I’m not being funny at all. I only perform in Jax once a year, for about the past 4 years, at most and not because I don’t want to do more but I really have love and respect for that venue and it is such a supportive place for artists, it is more about sharing the space and not hording it and showing up every 3 months or so, besides, I get to come back fresh and funny and with new poems and tattoos J and hair styles and have a funky good time.

So, specials Thank Yous to everyone that called in about my performance before I go there, those that drove a few hours to come out and see me and the rest of you that created a packed house for my annual visit! I was really trippin! Tiffany Duarte was like “Yeah, people were calling in all week about you being here” I was like “No way…” I mean, besides a few people that I actually know that live there, who were there, I was like ‘Who would remember…’ but hey, God only knows and give thanks for those that did remember and came back to have a good time. That was one of the best shows that week! For real, for real. I was in the bathroom and just being me normal friendly self, I commented on how the orange in this lady’s shirt really glowed on her and she and her friend turned to me and said “Hey…I barely recognized you (which tripped me out that they would recognize ‘me’ in the first place) with your Mohawk. Didn’t you blog about your Mohawk?” I was happily stunned. Can I say “happily stunned” Well, I just did.

I smiled my award winning smile and was like “Yeah, I get stopped about it like 400 times a day, which I love, no doubt, and my home-boi in Atlanta (Biggs @ The Barber Shop on the corner of I20 and Boulevard in the Chevron gas station plaza) cuts my hair and no one has been able to duplicate it yet. A guy in London, from Ghana, was the closest, but besides that, every other barber I have ran into looks puzzled and struggles with the concept.” They were like “Cool…have a good show…can’t wait to see you perform…” and bounced.

I was like…*sniff* awwwwwwwwww…that was so cool. Thanks to that extra push ladies, I had a kick ass time on stage! You get what you give! Give positive!

I really appreciate everyone in Jax that donated to my Below the Radar project. You guys are #2 in donations behind Gainesville. Don’t worry, a business owner donated a nice chunk of change so you guys are still #1 in “Personal” donations! As soon as I learn how to download the 3 months worth of pictures from my new digital camera, I have from London to Florida I will post them on MySpace.

Give thanks to Vintege Soul for always hooking me up with beautiful dresses.

The next night in Gainesville was also amazing. I arrived in the afternoon after a leisure night in the hotel and breakfast thanks to Nocturnal Escape! Tiff and Emanual you guys rock!, at about 1 in the afternoon. It was such a beautiful day that I even stopped on the side of the road at a fruit stand and bought some fresh fruit. I guess I forgot where I was, the were looking at me crazy. I was blasting somebody’s CD you could hear with the doors closed and jumped out and jumped back on the highway. I could feel them staring at me 5 miles down the road. I arrived at Kylie’s house and met up with Crystle with an “E” and a few other poets before my workshop at the bookstore by U of Florida.

When I walked in they immediately noticed I had lost weight. “Wow, what are you …not eating?” For someone that sees me every day in Atlanta, they don’t really notice. It just looks like I deflated a little. Lol…but I hadn’t seen them in almost a year and they noticed the 15-18 lb (depending on the day lolol…) drop. “Bullshit” I said, reaching for one of my plumbs I bought on the side of the road while offering them one at the same time.

The name of my latest workshop is “Bitch! I’m ‘bout my bidness” coincidently, also a name of one of my songs on the album. It discusses the plethora of ways to make money as an artist and how the whole ‘Starving Artist’ ideal should be a thing of the past. The workshop is centered on making good business decisions that include: planning for the future, 401ks, IRAs and making time for your families. The three hour workshop flew by.

We headed over to the venue to do a sound check. It’s actually nice when a venue gives a poet a sound check. The normal thought process is if the mic is on, it’s good enough for the poet, when that is not the case at all. Everyone speaks in different pitches, tones and volumes, so as I pointed out in the workshop earlier, demanding your necessities is important for an artist. Don’t be a bitch about it, be polite and you’ll get what you need. Use “Would you mind...? and Please and thank you…” and you’ll get a lot. I don’t use the word “demand” like hitting someone over the head, but like-This is what I need…please.

TAB-I just got an email from a poet that I don’t even know, never heard perform before, who happens to know that I host a venue in Atlanta and all the email said was “What…you ain’t fuckin’ with me or what? Call me!...### ### ####” Yeah. Guess what I did. You got it! Delete.
UNTAB
(I learned this TAB thing from Myda and it is has been pretty useful. It is when you want to insert a point in a conversation that may or may not fit with the flow, you have to unTAB though or you’ll leave the listeners/readers thinking you are still in the TAB…lol…it is fun really…lol)

Anyway, that venue in Gainesville, much like Sugar Hill, was skeptical that a poetry night would “go over well”. This was a Sunday and not much was going on in that venue in Gainesville anyway but Sugar Hill was on a Saturday and they, admit-tingly had their reservations but both venues, were asking when the next poetry night was after the night was over. I love, that hundreds of people come out, on purpose, for a poetry show. Amazing. I love it.

I took the supposed 6 hour drive to Miami the next morning, after a wonderful and much needed one-hour-full body message and breakfast. For some reason, going 100 on the FL Turnpike was going too slow. I got to Miami from Gainesville in 4.5 hours, don’t tell the troopers. Speaking of which, there was like …none. As the afternoon progressed you could see the traffic from I95 on the left through the trees and cops were all over them.

I put on Kelly Love Jones, Maroon 5, Jr. Gong Damion Marley and rode out. Do you have a Repeat Song? A song you just fuqcking love and it stays on repeat for like, hours, days, weeks? #11 on Kelly Love Jones new album, album cover by Allen Grimes, was my repeat song for my Florida turnpike drive. Hot shit.

I get to Miami, check into the Holiday Inn across the street from the U of Miami, get on line with the wireless, and sit by the pool. This is what the freak I’m talking about. After a few MyCrack hours and gmail, I find a place to eat, change into something sheer with flowers, a dress I found at Rag-O-Rama in little 5, ATL, for 3 dollars, killer heels, of course and head out to my first feature in Miami ….in 3 years! Admit-tingly, nervous, I was glad to run into ShadowKat the co-feature from Jersey. (Somehow the co-features this week were…featuring…lol…I don’t give a shit, I’m me-they’re them…but it was funny/interesting to see what they thought ‘co-featuring’ meant to them) He did a great job.

Tonight was Monday, Mellow Mondays, hosted by Ingrid B, normally. We don’t have the greatest history, to say the least, so she even opted not to host. Wild. I don’t stop doing me and you, YOU THE READER, better NEVER stop doing YOU no matter people do. You hear me???!! Good. Alexander Proctor hosted. We’re not the greatest with each other either. He did, though, give me a great introduction and kept it professional, that is all you can ask. No, I’m not going to give you dirt from 14 million life-times ago. Just know that shit happens in life, some you can fix, others…you…keep doing you. Live.Learn.Grow.Period.

The night went really well, it was star studded. Asia, Will da Real 1, Kaheej –a great story teller, and a few others. Passion Poet was there, she’ll be in Atlanta in June at the Apache show, and it was a beautiful Ethiopian restaurant. Thanks to Pierre for calling me back in December to book the show. I quickly remembered one of the reasons Miami is so great, they are supportive like hell and you don’t have to pull teeth for it. After my line for my albums died, I packed up and walked out. Hugged Pierre and gave a wave to Alexander. One of the poets asked what I was ‘doing after’ and where I was staying. I said “Chyyyyle, I am not here to ‘cause any noise this time, I am in and I am out after Wednesday. Never mind where I’m staying…waaaaayy…out (kinda true, Coral Gables) and I’m going watch TV in my room is what I’m ‘doing after’ ” gave a wink and smile and was out.

Not this time homies. I was determined. The next day, I caught up with some folks via phone and visits that I managed to keep as friends in Miami and they made me realize it’s not as bad as I thought. Who gives a fuck about the losers that hate on you anyway. “Thanks for thinking of me”. That’s all you should say.

We had lunch, I went to get a mani-pedi, fell asleep in the message chair, went for a walk, a swim, to the bank to deposit my donations to the album, and got ready for Miami night #2. If you have/have not ever been to Miami, no other city in Florida is like it. There is sex and party in the air. Any day of the week, you can smell it. Unlike New York where there is ‘trouble’ in the air and unlike Atlanta where you actually have to hunt it out, where it is kept a secret. In Miami it is blam! In your face! Any time of the year it is intoxicating and feels like summer, the excitement, the beaches, the bars….all of it. This trip, was the most “boring” Miami trip I’ve ever had. Lolol…probably for my own good. Lolololol…

Feature #2 was at Will da Real 1’s spot way the hell out. I had just had dinner with a friend at a Caribbean Café and was knocked out on one of the venue’s couches for like an hour before Will got started!lolo…all that laying around by the pool wore me out, lolol… It was also a good-bye party for a Soul Singer Mishell who moved to New York, I’m assuming after that week. She was angelic. When Will introduced her with that same word, I assumed he was being flirtatious, but, even if he was, he was right. I was captivated. Her voice is refreshing. Her energy is soft and unassuming. Beautiful. Again with the surprises. She was equally enthralled with my poems and wanted to trade albums. Duh, of course. She was my repeat song (#4) on my way back up the FL, turnpike Thursday back to Atlanta.

Wed- U of Miami Day. More of the pool. I didn’t do any shopping. There was a center close but Twisted Tongue is coming and I’m on a mission to raise this $50k of my own money, donations and grants, so no shopping. *sniff*. It’ll all be worth it. Man. I’d love to just mail the new album to you all, but that would be silly. I’m keeping the price at $10 and guess what you get? You won’t believe this shit. My new album will be a double disc again and the first disc will be 11 “songs” (poems…songs.. you know…) Remixing “It will pass” –featuring Julie Dexter (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhh!) and remixing “Somewhere in the darkness” –featuring Phillipia (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) and on the 2nd disc you’ll get the 3 music videos!!! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag) come on!! You can’t beat that with a bat!

Ok, ok…back to the story. I had another co-feature at the U of Miami that, I guess, didn’t care that they were doing 30-40 minutes but there was like 50 minutes left in the night! Hahaha…again. I don’t give a shit. I’m me-they’re them. It all works out. It is just funny.

The students were amazing. I did a 2007 Ghetto version of one of my favorite parables in the Bible and they were on the floor rolling. Mouths open. That has been happening a lot lately, lolol…and a few poems, in the time I had left *eh,hm.clearing throat* and told them about the album and my Below the Radar campaign. Students lined up for the albums and DVDs I have and to donate, $1, $5, $20 to the campaign. Thank you U of Miami!

It is now 1030pm. I have two options. A-Go directly across the street and go to bed and become well rested for my again, supposed, 10-hour drive back to Atlanta to make it to 103.3 on Joyce Littel’s show to promote for Twisted Tongue or B-drive 70 miles North on I95 to West Palm Beach to perform at another Venue that will be closing in 45 minutes (the life…) that really wants me to come since I’m in town. Is there money involved you ask? I don’t know. I didn’t ask. Sometimes, just sometimes, people WANTING you around, is worth more than what they could ever give you.

What do you think I did? You got it.

I grab Corey, a student at U of M we shove everything into my CD case, wave by to everyone and run through the parking lot. We are I95 doing 100+. Lying via text messaging to the host about what exit we are on! Lolol…ok, it’s funny now. You know..I was really on exit 50, said I was on exit 62…that kind of thing. We needed to make it to exit 70 before midnight. We started BELOW exit 1.

We pull into the parking lot screeching tires, eject out of our seats and find a couple of exasperated patrons leaving, grumbling about work in the morning, as the promoters run after them explaining how much I am worth the couple of minutes of missed sleep.

The host introduces one person before me. This brother, literally, goes on for 5 real minutes about how he used to live in Norfolk, used to come to the poetry events, has 2 degrees, works hard, makes a lot of money, and I did a poem one time about 40 million years ago when he was there, a love poem at that, that pissed him off, and the line that got him to write the poem he was about to recite was “…dudes in blue suits bore me…” if you know what line that poem is too, you can get all 4 of my current albums mailed to you today! Leave a comment here and I’ll have them out to you ASAP! Shout outs to Trehmane, I’ll know you’ll get this.

He proceeded to do the poem and as he was walking off the stage came over and gave me a dap and a half hug. I didn’t really know if I was being dissed or …or…or…what…lolol…

The host called me up next. I did Domino Affect first and proceeded to start into that very poem he was talking about when I noticed him straighten out from his lean on the bar and walk out. I wanted to tell him that I, too, have two degrees, and make great money doing what I love. One does not discount the other. Oh, well. I did 3 more poems and left the stage to my 3rd standing O in Miami. It was good to be back.

Everything is divine. I also talk about that in my workshop. I teach that the universe ALWAYS works in your favor it is your charge to see it like that and work with it accordingly.

I ran into to Joshua and his wife. I haven’t seen them in 4 years! They said it was their first night back out in a couple of years. I guess, just like my blogs and journals, many more people read them, than leave comments. I read Joshua’s emails religiously, but never replied. There’s something about they mystery of the distance.

We hugged and talked and the entire venue took pictures, and more pictures, and pictures of pictures. It was wild. Sis, that brought me out, thanked me a thousand times and shoved a wad of money in my hand. Nope. I didn’t count it, it wouldn’t have meant anything. I added it to my donation to the campaign stack and continued selling albums.

I, also, for the second time that week met Kyrie (sp?) a flight attendant/singer/poet that lives in Germany and gets to Miami once a week to perform on her stay over. The life. She also made it to my Repeat Song rotation on my drive back in the morning.

The Reason for Below the Radar: The company that puts together my albums and all of my promotional materials is also based in Miami. Although we talk at least once a week, I haven’t laid eyes on them in 3 years either. I stopped by their soon to be old office and saw, immediately, why they are moving. When I met them, they were a small mom and pop company that burned CDs for artists, stickers, jewel cases, the whole nine…did some mastering for some lower budget albums, including my first 3, and some flyers.

Today…yeah. You name it. They do it. You can email them at print@hotflyers.com or give them a call at 786-229-6055 ask for Ms. Linda. Tell them I sent you, you’ll get a good rate on everything. I mean everything. They handle all my online orders, my T-shirts, stickers, buttons, flyers, posters and albums and now they are even doing books. They do DVDs, graphics, editing, …yeah. There was stuff everywhere. I took a tour of the office I used to remember being spacious, and bright with color. Today, orders, file cabinets, posters, flyers, and albums neatly packed and organized everywhere. They’ve never missed an order for me, including over seas.

Anyway, this part you’ll either love or hate: I do a lot of shows with artists that demand X amount of dollars. Let’s just say for the sake of the conversation we’ll say $1million J So, artists are requesting $1M but they show up with slim cases, stickers on their albums, or straight off the spindle, yes chyyyyle, off the damn spindle and then wonder why their albums aren’t working for them when they are not around. Someone said something to me in the beginning of this game. 10 years ago. Ainsely Burrows, actually. I started out with a complete Cd, then switched to slim cases because they were easier to carry on the road, he got one and when I saw him again, he said the album was fine but if I planned on being a contender and not just a player then I need to have my sights set way past today.

I never forgot that and put as much pride, time and investment into me as an artists AND the entire project, to include: dope graphics, posters, stickers, reminders, websites, so when I do demand a $1M for my performances I can stand on that with conviction.

Below the Radar: Too Good for Mainstream featuring The 5th album from Queen Sheba Domino Affect is a higher level understanding of this concept. Just once, just once, I’d like to tour, without the stress of worrying about wondering how many albums I have to sell to cover the bills for this month, or for tuition or for whatever the hell I want. Just once. And hopefully it will have a Domino Affect on the Spoken Word industry. I was making the mistake of sitting around waiting for someone else to do it, someone else to open the door. Then, I woke up. Why not me? Shoot, if it works great! If not…nothing beats a failure but a try.

This is the time we’ll demand, roach free, smoke free, drama free studio sessions, we’ll demand a sound check, tea and bottle waters without feeling like we are asking for too much, or like we are annoying the venue by asking for a table to sell our merchandise that feeds our families. We’ll be able to have a cab pick us up from the airport to our 3-4 star hotels, where we don’t have to wonder if they washed the sheets AND the comforter… just once…during the tour. Just once, I’ll be able to say to Kelly, or Tabi or Fisiwe, or Paul, “Hey, I have your plane tickets to LA, Chicago and London, we’re going to do a couple small venue shows, a couple hundred people, nothing super dome-ish or anything and fly back, comfortable.” Maybe not in first class but bumped up to business class. Just once.

That’s it. Not going to sell out on y’all or nothing. No bling, bling, I still get my hair cut by Biggs at the hood Barber Shop, clothes by Vintege Soul and food by Kroger and on a good week Whole Foods. Just want to be able to give the artists that took their time to drive 20 miles out of Atlanta on a sunny afternoon more than lunch for their time. Would like to be able to put comfortable stipends in their pocket for the album release party, hire a band…you know. Do it up, Under the Radar…just once. And the $50 is less about me than it is setting the standard for all of us. To say it’s OK to want more, expect more. It’s about living a better life.

Another thing in my workshop I teach is “Who said you should struggle?” Where does it say that? Show me where it says we should struggle and suffer. Yes, it does say do not live in access, but it does not say struggle and suffer. It says to feed those around you. That is what I want to do, feed us all. And if it has that Domino Affect that I’d like it to have, it can be done, a 2nd and third time, not just by me, but by other artists… and you!

My total Florida donations were over $450 in addition the enormous amount of albums that were purchased. Especially at The Stage in West Palm Beach, plan B.

You don’t want to miss this. Almost to the end: I leave Imagineer Studios and jump on the turnpike. 8 hours later I’m walking up the sidewalk on 17th and Peachtree in Atlanta to the 103.3 studio and Malik Saalam and Kimotion pull up off the road from Chicago and honk and wave. I could feel the scowl coming from the man walking his rat of a dog. 103.3 is at the front of a residential neighborhood. I looked up the man as I was passing him and gave a friendly “How ‘you doin’?” He didn’t say ‘fine’. He said “This is a residential neighborhood you know?” Because I’m a genius and the Queen of witty comebacks I said “Well, good thing we live here then,” still trying to be light and friendly. He didn’t stop there. “Well, you guys must be the reason the police are always over here.” Uh, yeah. I couldn’t help myself. I had a “boring” trip in Miami, I was cooped up in the car for 8 hours, I had to go to the bathroom…. “Naw, it’s probably because they noticed all the hash you and your wife were bringing in and out.”

I, of course think this is funny and share it with Malik and Kim as I meet them in the elevator. Needless to say, we parked on the street, where we always do when we come to the radio station.

We meet up with Tommy and Haziq who are already in the station with Joyce Littel and company. Haziq leaves shortly after we get there.

2 hours later, a little after midnight, the four of us walk out laughing and joking about all things, and notice my car with it’s front end in the air, a police officer standing by Tommy’s car and Malik takes off running towards his. The life. I can’t say we all drove off with our cars.

2 weeks later we are damn near at present. It’s Saturday March 17th. The night before I got a last minute show through Jessica Care Moore (It’s all about relationships, making, and maintaining them) to fly to Detroit, my first home town, to do a show at Mary Grove College.

Who told me I was cute? Fly even? It’s your fault! It’s your fault I got a cold. Yes! I had on stelletos in the snow. And?! J

I fly out to Detroit Friday morning. I feel the cold coming on from stress, late night promotions, ATL weather fluxuating and lack of rest. I dope up on my 2nd favorite drug, DayQuil. I get to the Ritz Carlton 5 star. The Life. Rest for about an hour. Wrap up, walk across the parking lot to the mall for a pedi/mani, buy my love some Pumas and lunch. Call my mother that I haven’t seen or talked to in years, so long, I realized she didn’t even know I moved to Atlanta and told her where I’d be tonight at Mary Grove. She didn’t show up. Get to the show. Another case of co-features turned features. Again, I don’t what? Because I’m who and they are who? When I say that, the point is, you can’t control other people, only yourself, so just do you, no matter what anyone else does. Right or wrong.

Toss and turn, after getting in bed about 1am, anticipating the alarm, Twisted Tongue is in less than 24 hours and I have a million things to do when I get back to Atlanta. Get to the Detroit airport at 630am and it had snowed in the 5 hours I was asleep. They were talking delays and de-icing the plane. I CANNOT MISS TWISTED TONGUE!!

I send up a prayer and good vibes. I’m back in Atlanta, less than 2 hours later. I take a power nap while my wonderful love prints, files, staples, organizes and answers the phone for me. I get up, drug up. Call Sarah my friend and herbalist. Get to Sugar Hill and delegate duties while directing poets, the food, the art, the models, the poets, the late poets, the later poets, the volunteers, and the venue owners and managers about how the night should look and feel. Richard Dunn was wonderful and cautious. He had no idea. He had no idea about the promotions power, just off the streets and rep and credibility and years of event planning and love in the community that we had. He wouldn’t let me move the furniture. Hahaha. I was stir crazy but as I said, everything is divine. Richard argues calmly and states his points with conviction. Still skeptical. I tried to reassure him it was going to be fly-er than he could imagine. He shook his head and arranged chairs.

Then the Dj stand, then the DJ…more poets, Julie’s sound check, then early birds. God, was it 7:45 already? Make up, heels, Mohawk, jewelry, bangles, extra dresses on a hanger, what???!! Tommy has a new shirt??? Get out!! People are lining up at the door. Directions to the poets, where are all the poets? Sarah gives me Emergency, and two glasses of Henessey. What cold? I need a time keeper! Ok, phew…Queen- that’s right she’s the time keeper. BET is here now. Red Bull, check.

People are piling in now. We take the stage at 9:20. Ok, we got to work on that 9 O’clock thing.

The balcony is full and there is no more room downstairs.

Julie Dexter kills it.
Round I – crazy. Tommy and I are hosting our asses off. We are funny and the crowd is in a great mood, energy is high and the poets are kicking ass!
Round II – crazy-er. The Fire Marshall comes in to tell us there are too many people in the club.
We appease him. I switch dresses a couple of times and get lovely messages on the score boards from the young men in the front row. I’ll never lie and say I don’t love the stage. Truly love it.
Haziq strolls in, I’m fuming and trying to ignore him giving directions when the show is 45 minutes from being over. I love my two home-bois, I swear.
Round III – More dresses, more jokes, more kick ass poets, icing on the cake.

Congrats to our Round II Winner Ali The Greatest from Black on Black Rhyme Tallahassee, Fl.

3 AM, there are like 30 people left in Sugar Hill, a few St. Black-tricks Day stragglers. I’m doing the accounting, the people have all cleared the Green Room so the temperature drops back to freezing. My cold returns.

We leave, I take a poet to his hotel room way out on Jimmy Carter and my love is drunk. Driving in circles on 285, lost in our own city. I beat my love home and wait naked and clean.

Sunday. I don’t wake up until 5pm. I clean my room and went back to sleep. Woke up at 11pm and watched The Departed. I rose from the dead on Monday.

If you miss Twisted Tongue in July or September or Akoben in October. You’re trippin’. Ask ANYONE that has been at our last two slams.

Ok, this was a little longer that anticipated. It was a good read though. It felt good to write it.

-Sheba, baby.

Current Location: By the window....

Current Mood: creative

Current Music: the humm of the computer

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

Feb. 19th, 2007

Jan. 21st, 2007

02:23 pm - Question of the week: Should a Woman's Sexual Past Matter?

Question of the Week!
Please read below and send us your answers on myspace or livejournal!

We haven’t had a Question of the Week in a while and this is a good one: Last week some old and new friends of mine taped a Pilot for a new TV show coming out on Robert Townsend’s TV Station The Black Family Channel called: Man Talk 4 Women. The concept for the unique talk show allows brothers to discuss issues, they normally would keep in the locker rooms or the barber shop, in a forum where ladies are able to chime in their opinions about how they handle some issues. It may sound like a typical beginning talk show, well, it’s not. The concept is actually fresh. It’s like women eavesdropping.

I remember I went to a TD Jakes “Men Conference” at Old Dominion Universities Convention Center a few years back and TD Jakes said that we, women, were allowed to eavesdrop because we needed to hear what the men would say without inhibition. This is what this show is like.

One of the topics, is not unfamiliar to the talk show world, so I’m not giving away any of the secrets, was “Should a woman’s past matter?” The men gave a variety of answers and the women, of course, had something to say. You’ll have to tune in this fall to the BFC to find out what they said but I want to know what YOU think.

Losing your virginity in high school, in my day, I heard, was ‘late’. “Most kids” were “already doing it” by the time they reached sophomore year. I remember having sex …discussions with my peers in the 8th grade, we’re talking ’88 (8th grade) and some of those young girls telling me that I was “whack” for still being a virgin and they had already been with multiple partners. Well, I was “Whack” for a couple more years. I let peer pressure get to me around my sophomore year and my “girls” (funny how they are your girls and you have no idea where they are now) decided to keep a list of who we were intimate with, incase that terrible AIDS thing caught up to us, we would contact the brothers on our list and let them know…for their safety.

Some of my “girls” lists reached over 30 + partners by the time we left high school. Me? Well, a lady never tells….  I lost my list between all of my moves during high school, running away and changing states. I’ve been tested for AIDS/HIV several times and I have no need to contact anyone.

Dating these days, that question doesn’t really come up; Your past, that is. What comes up these days is how many people are you “with” now? Which would imply that most people are intimately involved with more than one person. I have heard of serial monogamy also.

That is that as soon as you are “done” with one person you quickly move on to someone else but not necessarily overlapping bed sheets. That doesn’t always prove to be the safest route either when most people think it is, since it is not multiple partners at one time.

Way, way, way back…before any of us were thought of, on the night of the wedding it was tradition to hang the sheet of you and your wife/husband in the window the following morning so everyone could see that you/your wife was, indeed a virgin. Proof of purity.

Can you really change? If you were once promiscuous, will you always be? Will you always be that hunter? Trying to fill a void. Whatever void, be it natural sexual instincts or lust or insecurities.

The real question is: when you finally find that one you want to settle down with should your/their past matter? What if you were married for, say…8 years…a good amount of time and you found that high school list, and it wasn’t a number you would “agree” that a woman should have. What do you do then? What do you do as a woman when your man finds out?

Lets be honest, we are talking about a woman’s past. YES! YES! I know it is a double standard and that is a whole different conversation but for now, for the sake of THIS conversation; What do you do when your women’s past is revealed? Women, what do you do?

I’d love to hear from you!!

Current Location: At the crib in my pajamas

Current Mood: optimistic

Current Music: I'm Home

(Leave a comment)

Dec. 12th, 2006

Dec. 6th, 2006

07:30 pm - Campaign for Lil Wayne's Heart! - Settle down or up!

…So Rubberband Bank has motivated me to get money and Lil’ Wayne’s Carter 2 has motivated me to keep pushing. I mean, different level maybe but same game. I wonder, every now and then, what their love lives are like. I mean, could these rappers really be that cold and heartless and dispose of women like old underwear, tennis shoes worn twice, or bootleg CDs after the first 5 listens? I wonder if they get that kind of lonely they are too embarrassed to talk about, to ashamed to discuss with the rest of their pseudo hard core crew.

Some hip hop artist a while ago, did a song, a one hit wonder about artists confessing on tape and the more I listen to what we call hip hop these days, I wonder if these young men might not need serious therapy. I’m sure we could all take a few trips to the shrink without too much trouble, but I worry about Lil’ Wayne and Young Geezy. I mean, I am truly concerned that they won’t find true love. Heaven’s knows, I am not the one for them but I would love to find out what would really make them happy and sign them up for E Harmony or Match . com or something. Wouldn’t that be funny? What would their psychological profile read like?:

Favorite pass times: What we doin’? gettin’ money! And having sex with multiple women that really mean nothing to me at all
Hobbies: racing on my chrome 700
Income bracket: Dunno…I let it rain on ‘em, so I lose count.
A typical night out would be: flippin’ them chickens

This is where I get confused. Chickens, a couple of years ago, were women. Now, if I am not mistaken, they are some sort of drug package? I apologize my drug dealing vocabulary is a little limited …

There needs to be a ebonics dictionary with a special edition for the south. We, yes, we, have our own language and even the south language is different depending on what part of the south you are from. Norfolk southern language is way different than that of the Carolinas and definitely different from Atlanta. I have learned this language and you can actually speak around folk that are not familiar with this language and they will completely miss the entire conversation. Try it!

Since I’ve been in Atlanta, I’ve seen a few celebrities at the local open mics, showcases, including Djangos. Due to our star studded staff we get a few heads in there and I even gave my latest album to some one from some rap group that I totally forgot and I told him if I hear my lyrics in his next hit…I was gunna …I didn’t really know, except to sue and that would mean I’d have to keep my PrePaid Legal membership up to date.lmao. He thought the PrePaid Legal part was funny. I told him don’t trip! You too could be a manager by the end of the week! Lol!

Anyway, I’m concerned about the love lives of these mega stars because it reflects in their work. They seem so angry, so tense. Even when they are talking about sex it’s always so violent. I’m not saying a good throwing against the wall isn’t cool every now and then but …geez…every song “Smack ‘dat” all on the floor? And it gotta be public humiliation? Can get a private beat down at least?

Phew…I think we are all in trouble and no, this is not a plea to change hip hop, it is going through a cycle right now. All artists have their responsibilities and you just do yours and I’ll do mine and it will come back around I promise.

This is a plea to get some love to these tweeked out rappers, that openly admit to doing all sorts of drugs to get them that high they can’t seem to get any where else because they are just really filling life long voids. I know all about voids. I try to shop my voids away and it doesn’t really help. So lets hook up Jill Scott, who’s going through a divorce right now with like… The Bird Man, India Irie with like… The Snow Man (this is funny) and as I said previously, I’ll take David Banner. Put Joi with TI and ….what??? You don’t think this cross culture- lets fuse anger and peace will work? I think it’s genius!

We have ‘Coochie Magic’ as Christa Bell as so eloquently patented. And it seems that the Magic is keeping it away from men as long as possible, until their training period is over! Hah, then when you release all the ‘magic’ on them, they are so open by then, Lil’ Wayne will be writing love ballads. Hah…he’s a little nasel-ly for the singing of love ballads but he could get his new bird to sing for him.

I have been through 15 gazzillion terrible relationships and I was talking to my home-gurl the other day about settling. If you are with someone that loves you more than you love them and they are wonderful and brilliant and giving and dynamic…is it really settling? I mean is it really settling “down” if you go from bullshit to brilliance? That would be settling “Up” don’t you think? (Of course this is an idea for a poem, steal it and I’ll kill you *smile* )

So…Question of the week is: “Is it really settling DOWN if you are with someone that loves you more than you love them if they are good for you? If you are used to terrible-ness (yes, terrible-ness) and you “settle” for someone that adores you but you are just not really all there…wouldn’t that still be improving?”

You let me know. I look forward to your answers!

Lil’ Wayne! We are going to save your heart yet homey!

Love Sheba – new album coming Spring/Summer –whenever I get around to it ‘07

Current Location: 2nd home...

Current Mood: recumbent

Current Music: Carter 2 Lil Wayne

(Leave a comment)

Sep. 12th, 2006

01:14 pm - Dear Complacent; Don't forget to dream

How in-THE-HELL-do you:

Apply for a job you already have
Get fired
Demoted
Docked pay
Rehired for the same position
And given a raise

All in 24 hours?

Corporate America that is how. Home Depot is a trip. And, I thank Goddess for reminding me that I should not become complacent. I was really enjoying working there.
Then, we had to go through the rigamaroll of that chaos last week and it really really really reminded me why Black people need our own…everything.

I even went to Banana Republic and bought, what I consider to be ‘expensive’ because I don’t have the funds to waste on shit I’ll probably never wear again…oh…wait hahah..that is like every weekend! Ok, ok…so I never took in consideration a suit budget. But I even bought a suit AAAAND one of those casual sweater with a button down shirt outfits for the follow up! I EVEN TOOK OUT MY NOSE RING! –although I had been wearing it since I was hired, but I thought I’d go the extra mile-Uhg!

Do you know what the feedback was?? Why I didn’t get my same job back that I was applying for? “…Sheba the majority (this was a panel interview) of the panelists just felt like you were too militant…you would walk to the beat of your own drum and wouldn’t really mesh well with the other personalities…” my response was “Heaven forbid I think for myself!” and yes, I rolled my eyes while I said it. And yes, I understand THAT wasn’t very professional but we all fall short sometimes. I had did their song and dance all summer, sucked it up when I knew that they were dicking us around, smiled when they all should have been put in a headlock.

Keep in mind this a temp agency and we work FOR the Home Depot. They, THD, just laid off 300 people from the Corporate Office, where I work, and then when they demoted me told me that they were ‘giving me’ a position that they had just fired someone for…of course for $2.00 an hour less than what I was making and $2.5 less than the starting salary for that position!!

Hhaha…they got me phuqhed up! I said, (this was Thursday) “I would like to take the day off and not come in tomorrow” They said “Sheba, there will be OTHER opportunities and when this supervisor position comes up again…” interrupting I said, “Oh, I apologize, I wasn’t asking…I AM taking the day off and I WON’T be in tomorrow…call me when the training for the new job starts” After picking up their jaws and telling me that wasn’t going to fly…I left.

The funny thing is, I really enjoy working there. Enjoy is in the present tense because guess what happened next?

Before I tell you that, I do want to say that, and I have said this before, there is nothing wrong with working, working a job that is beneficial to you, and it must be to your benefit first. I have been doing poetry so long that I care way to much about people and things that could give a shit about me and it is proven over and over buuuttt…that is my nature and it won’t really change. So, when I first starting working at THD this past June, it was just a gig, my hustle. I told people, who asked why I was working, that Poetry is my career and THD is my hustle. You have to KNOW what you are doing and stay focused. You can’t lose sight of the goal and always keep it in the forefront of your mind, because the money will look nice, the benefits are cool…I haven’t had benefits in a million years, the flexibility of me being a supervisor was working with my poetry schedule and I don’t think the world has missed a beat with me but…this past week gave me the slap in the face I needed. I was started to say things like “yeah, next year when…” and I would have to shake myself awake. I had to remember that this is a temp agency and as long as I bow out gracefully, I can be reassigned or brought back.

What was I holding on to? I know what…someone else’s ideal of me. And I had to let that go. I have to remember the balance. This has got to work for the good of the movement, I need to infiltrate on their ideas, learn how they think without getting sucked in. Take their ideas and come back to the village. Stack and save. Use their resources for our gain. Don’t forget the people at the bottom bring up the strong ones for leadership and train the weak ones. Get people in place for administrative take overs, I.T. manipulation, this is what I have to remember every day.

Friday, I forgot I promised one of the other supervisors I would close for her so she could make an appointment. So I came in Friday…at 3. By 3:15 my supervisor was at my desk, (as I was cleaning it out, I decided to accept the position they created because a little money for the revolution is better than no money. Where would we get our supplies? What kind of leader would I be in the working world for all other artists that have to swallow their pride until the jump off…I have to remain the positive example…just don’t forget ‘why’ you are here) giving me a pound for coming to work. He said, “It’s not how you act when you get the job, Sheba, it’s how you act when you don’t.” I nodded, ‘cause I was on the phone working on Akoben and waived him off like it was some top secret HD business I was conducting.

By 3:30 he’s running, literally running back to my desk, wizzing through cubes dodging chairs and ends up back in front of my desk rushing me to the conference room from whence he came. The entire upper management team was in there and one of the other sups that had made the survivor cut.

Now they need a midnight supervisor. Bob Nardelli, the CEO of THD thought that our call center, Customer Complaints/Care was ALREADY open 24 hours. So, in a panic, the upper management team had to put together a night team of associates and guess what they needed??? You got it! Two supervisors! Hahah…I love it! I told them I had to be off on Mondays for…none of their business…

And I have already decided that this is going to work out beautifully. They are responsible for teaching me that you have to look out for you FIRST and phuque what everyone else thinks because guess what?? NOBODY CARES!! Hahahah…Well, you know what I mean. If you don’t look out for you, no one will respect it. So, I’ve already decided my days off and if they decide to release me in the interim, ashe.

Do what you need to do, don’t forget your dreams. If you are working somewhere right now it’s just a pit stop, don’t forget to save and don’t forget to network! People that you work with will always be useful to you. Be careful but be brave!

AND DON’T, please by God, DON’T be afraid to leave when you get the sign that it is clearly time to go! Beit your business is about to open and you’re not sure how it is going to go, you are touring artist and you are not sure how it is going to go…one thing is for sure, you will never know if you don’t leave!

UHURU!

QueenMFSheba

Current Location: Home Office

Current Mood: awake

Current Music: Lyfe Jennings

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

Sep. 2nd, 2006

12:37 pm - Think Outside the Mic

This is probably more of a question of the week, month…heck, whenever I feel like updated this again. I go so hard that every now and then I have to step back and take a break. This time, my break was a year…yeah, well…it’s over and I have my 2nd, 3rd wind and this coming year proves to be one of the best yet.

This past January I started hosted Djangos. It was all by accident really. One week I was the feature, the next week I was the host. Go figure. I have grown to love Mondays. At first I was reluctant after 5 years of being married to a venue, I was exhausted. However, this was different. There were no chairs to carry, no food to make, no money to invest, no heads to count, no staff to run, no nothing. All I have to do is show up, host and go home. It makes it a lot of fun! Somebody else handles the stress and I get to have drink or 12 and have a good time.

I was hosting for months on auto pilot and all of sudden something silly happened. I started to care again. The words that I was listening to every week from our regulars started to make sense, I could hear the lyrics, the names were sticking to their faces and I remembered who did what genre. Who was the Hip-Hop artist, who were the singers, the poets, the super stars that came to post up unless they “asked” (it’s not really asking when you say I wanna’ go next but hey…I’m making my way in a new town) to perform. I noticed who the lonely women are that come every week waiting to hear…something. The men that are real men the love the night that pretend they don’t so they look cool but are clearly annoyed when the bar is making too much noise it becomes hard to hear. Everyone started to become people, not just blank faces on performers that disappeared into my amoretto sours by the end of the night.

I started to have discussions with people about their work and development and shows and traveling and everything that comes with…caring. I started writing again, a lot. I started singing…songs…whole songs. Nope, nope, nope I don’t sing but I was doing it anyway because…I wanted to. I don’t sing, I carry a note, not very far but carry it none the less.

After I started caring I noticed something that was/is bothering me. A lot of the performers that call themselves artists were not being, or at least by my own definition, artists. They were/are being clones. I never noticed it before but every song was a snap song, every hip hop performance was something cloned from the radio and the poets, veterans, especially, weren’t writing. They were stuck in their comfort zones. I mean, I know everything is not going to be our ‘classics’ but how do you get to the classics if you don’t write all the crap the comes in between.

Tommy Bottoms, said something the other night. We heckle each other a lot out of fun….er…well, I heckle him at our Wednesday night and he heckles me back hahahaha…we are funny. We need a talk show or something…anyway…he said he didn’t care if he did the same poem every week, or every day for the rest of his life. His comparison was if Eric Badu came to our venue every week we wouldn’t care if she did the same song. I disagree, especially depending on the amount of weeks. Now, I’m not saying that if she sang the same song AND added a new song, or at least a ‘new’ song she hadn’t been singing for the past 6 weeks in a row, that I’d be apposed to that. All I’m saying is that there is a difference between Spoken Word artist and Poet, between basketball player and athlete, between musician and drum player.

I think, especially those that call ourselves ‘artists’ that there is a different development plan for us, there is a different sense of responsibility for inventing ourselves over and over. We SHOULD try something new, even if bombs…at least we’ll know! Hahaha…I mean, I have been a professional host long enough to know that when I’m hosting to ‘save the mic’ as we like to say for the other artists. It is not our time to show off. It is our time to build our audience so that they come to our features so we can show off! Hahah.. That being said, on Mondays I will perform first because nobody likes to be first and/or go dead last and sing my new rock song; Natural. Inspired by 3 men and all real life events…anyway…

Lets ask ourselves this, this week: Is there a difference between “Athlete and Basketball Player” (you know what I mean) AND as an “Artist” do have a special responsibility to reinvent ourselves?


P.S. Home Depot laid off 300 people at the corporate office, where I work, to put $300 million dollars back into the stores. To make them better and improve the customer first initiative. I’m writing something on it. I’ll post it when it’s done. Nope, I haven’t quit yet. But next week I will blog about how they made us reapply for the jobs we already have?!? (eerrr?? cocking head to the side and scratching)

I, also, have new poem called Karma I’ll post later this week.

I can’t wait to read your answers!

See you out on Monday @ Djangos! Check my dates here on myspace or on my website for all my dates this month!

Current Location: New Orleans -Working on the Festival 6 weeks and counting!

Current Mood: Working hard...

Current Music: Zoo Man's Stand Up Comedy CD

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

Jun. 9th, 2006

07:08 pm - Southern Fried Day I

Team: Tallahassee, Fl - Black on Black Rhyme Poetry Troup.

I have about 15 minutes to get this out to over 6k folk so bare with me!

Southern Fried Poetry Slam Regionals is a fun annual event and this year we are celebrating 14 years of tradition. My third SF and a two time team champion. Yeah boi!

Teams are made up of 4 poets, there are 14 teams here this year from all over the N.E. I joined the Black on Black Rhyme poetry troup team from Tallahassee, which includes myself, Paul D, Liz Straight and Ali. All of us, finalists in last years SF and national competition. Fire, but humble and hungry. That combination makes it fun. Black on Black Rhyme has 3 poetry troups in Florida with members extending around the country, myself included. I am new member but they have always supported my poetry efforts and vise-versa.

Paul D and I rode together yesterday morning to catch up with the other two troups and Liz and Ali rode together from Tallahassee. After making great time on 20W to Birmingham, two exits from our destination, a tracter trailer flips and blocks all lanes and exits. I pray for any potential victims.

We found our hotel and got a chance to rest for about 40 minutes. As a touring artist it is always great to see other poets all in one place for a weekend. It is like a family reunion. We diva-fied and went to figure out what bout we were in. There are about 5-6 venues that will entertainl two bouts, an early and a late. 4 teams will compete against eachother in each bout. With a complicated scoring system the team with the highest score at the end of each bout, and each night will compete to become one of the 4 (remember there are 14 teams!) teams that will make it to finals on Saturday night. Put us in our prayers that we make finals! It is fun and exciting.

We split up to watch some of the earlier bouts. I got to catch Charlotte, my home team, compete against Bowling Green and two other teams. It is so fun and exciting that it is all a blurr..

Confusion is always a factor to unorganization when you are running a major event like this, trust me I know! After getting the early bouts started about 2 hours late, it all seem to run smoothly. My teammates and I were still on EST so we were lagging a little when our bout, the late bout, started at 12m! 11pm'bama time!

Our bout: Atlanta all women's team, Durham NC and Birmingham, the home team.

After a run for our money we managed to pull a 1 aka a win for our room. All 14 teams compete in all 3 preliminary rounds, all the scores will be tabulated and then the top 4 will go to finals.

Last night's scores:

BB Rhyme Tal 118.6 (all scores out of 120)

Birmingham 117.2

Durham NC 118.4

Atl all woman's team 115.5

Each poet has the potentional to earn a perfect score of a 30. Both Liz and I scored 30s, Ali 29.9 and Paul D for the team by going first and pulled a 28.7.

The teams also pull letter to determine the order and rotation of each bout. We pulled "A" which meant we went 1st and had to fight to come back for the win.

Over all we are in 3 place out of the 14 teams. We practiced for hours this afternoon so we are trying to remain focused in all this sun and summer distraction! The prize is mostly regional bragging rights, maybe a dollar or two but it has always been for a fun few days of great poetry.

Tonight we are bouting in the early bout against

BB Rhyme Tampa

Birmingham (again, it is all the luck of the draw)

Atlanta Java Monkey team

After the bouts, there was a late night erotic open mic which I usually just spectate, however, I was bold enough to try "It was". Erotic poetry is always a skill that I tend to leave to others. If you have ever been to an erotic open mic, you'll see why!

wish us luck! and look for the updates tomorrow night!

Current Location: Birmingham Alabama

Current Mood: focused!

Current Music: Book: DaVinci Code

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

May. 20th, 2006

Apr. 14th, 2006

04:38 pm - Letter of Apology

This was on my mind to blog about, so it might be killing two birds with one stone. I might have misspelled Kavorkian...

Letter of Apology

If you think
You have done something
Worth apologizing for
You should
However,
All we have is this second
If you change your mind in the next
It only makes you
Dare I say;
Humane
I know us poets want to be:
Martyrs and
Gods and
Warriors and
Messengers from the underworld and
Mediums and Warlocks
And the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
The truth is
We are:
Arrogant
Self centered
Self serving
Hypocritical
Ambitious
Writers
That mix our personal business
With other people’s stories
Pepper it with history
(those of us that do read)
and call it poetry
my favorite possession
a $5 oversized button
that reads: “I do know everything, I just can’t remember it all at once.”
we do – in this moment
the plates in the earth slide
then the Kobe quake comes
killing 40 thousand voices
and the moment shifts
so if you think there will be any apologies for my existence
you’re sadly mistaken
I’ve seen this tomb before – baby
The writing on the wall is familiar
The nail used for ticking days away
Is rusting slowly on the ledge
So you gotta’ come better than
Ice grills and sneers from a distance
Honey, my blood is still fresh from clawing my way out the last time
My fingernail shavings are still in small piles by the door, sucker!
So you better come
Gloves off
Snarling fangs
Sharp claws
Knuckle up punk
And Puff-Puff-Puff the Magic dragon motherfuquers
Your snickering has go to come a bit louder – lover
I’ve already endured the sixth grade
With acne and hand me down clothes
That knife in my back
Better be Ginsu
Come in a set of 12 for 3 easy payments of $29.95 a lifetime guaranteed to never have to be sharpened again
And a pair of scissors as the bonus
‘cause I’ve already tried
razors
2 story buildings
a radio and a bathtub
I’ll even give you two shots!
So you betta’ aim for the kidneys or the temples
‘cause I’m laughing at those emails and online journals
sweetie, that ain’t painful
I’ve recently discovered I’m a sadist-voyeur
So watching you enter from behind is enjoyable
Pain!
is waking up realizing your boyfriend is:
Married
With child
Gay
White
And mortal
That’s all you got? Silence and a couple banishments?
My skin is a lot tougher than that! I got a 3 ½ hour tattoo on my back, lover
You gotta’ strike harder
Get out those cat-o-nine tails hidden in your Jan Sport
Don’t be shamed now pimp
Snap ‘em over your head!
Be that dominatrix you practice
With that teenager in the bedroom
You think not putting me on the bill is going to stop me from putting up my bills?
Baby-please! I’m suddenly a special guest when your show is about to flop
Slam about to suck ass
Motherfuquas come on!
I’ve been out-ed in the workplace for being a lesbian
DSS tried breaking up my family and taking my children
You bad! You bad!
Meet me on the playground at 3 O’clock
Get your lunch crew and I’ll get mine
You better conjure up the Dust Bowl of 1971
‘cause I’ve had gravel kicked in my face before
Let’s go!
Lift those stones
Cock’ those rocks behind your ears
Like your waiting for witches and the town lottery
And I won’t flinch
Allowing you to bludgeon me mute and blind
Kavorikian assist me
If, if and only if
you
you, that gather like barbarians
Are so righteous that you
Can hold those stones without:
Lust for the teenagers in your neighborhood
Gluttony against food, lottery tickets or stretch a bill due date to stretch into a new pair of shoes
Greed and jump the list against the virgin that came tonight Parkinson’s hands
composition notebook and a poem praising your name for the motivation
anyone that didn’t say “one more piece” after a 30 minute set and 3 features behind you
Sloth against your children; forget to tuck them in, tell them you love them, or procrastinate calling
For anyone that didn’t take wrath in their own hands, malice and resentment against a missing parent
For those that don’t envy
For those that are not proud and let others have their just due without a forked tongue
Those that don’t have more than one lover, unprotected, and unannounced
‘cause I’m sure murderers should accompany me against this firing squad
I’ll stand motionless
If one sling shot holder
Can say they never stolen a moment
Didn’t use your name to jump the velvet rope in front of the single mother
That had her first break from the twins in months and now will never know what the in crowd looks like
For those that had the abortion
Didn’t have the abortion
Are not influenced by other’s opinions, poems, or conversations about folk you’ve never met
for those that aren’t afraid of what the moment will turn in to
I never told anyone that my neighbor was molesting a little girl on my block
I sat motionless
Let his fingers prod
His penis pry
His mouth leave breath marks on my memory
Like a message in a mirror fading only when I’m cold
I vowed never to hold such a regret again
I put down the shame and picked up a voice
For the martyrs
The slaves
The queer
The mothers
The abandoned
The gods
The messengers
The believers
The non-believers
For those that want to, but need to see it one more time
For you
For me
For the voiceless
Never
Ever
Apologize
For the moment
Because there might not be
Another one!

Current Location: At the crib, at my computer with just my panties on, free!

Current Mood: So excited!

Current Music: Anthony Hamilton 2nd Album

(18 comments | Leave a comment)

Mar. 21st, 2006

06:47 pm - Iz you iz or iz you ain't...

I have no idea what to blog about. I’m lying, I have plenty to blog about. I have been blessed by the universe with some many wonderful things happening lately! It gives such validation to how important relationships, healthy relationships, are. Life is so much more about our associations then what we have done alone.

There have been some dynamic things that have happened to me in the last 6 weeks:
In LA I met Malik Yoba from NY Undercover, he joined myself, Jon Hensley the producer of Fly Poets, Christa Belle, and my friend Rene Reyes CEO of Sweet Verse for dinner at an Indian Restaurant on Melrose. He, Malik Yoba, ended up kissing my left butt cheek outside after dinner…lol…something about lotion and car accidents…you had to be there! I hadn’t been to Fly Poets in a year and it was exceptional March 1st. Seems so long ago but just a short few weeks ago!

Aldo, my favorite shoe store in the world has an outlet on Melrose. In addition to it already being an outlet they were having a 50% off sale. I went nuts.

I no longer have a part time job at the crazy, hustling, we really sell drugs but cell phones are our front, store! Hah…the night before I left for LA I kinda’ left/got fired…something about computer hacking, blue prints, tax evasion, black masks and a police escort! Hah! You kinda had to be there for that one too.
Man’ I dunno what it is with Atlanta, it can get you really crunk! How you can get “fired” from a place you don’t really exist at is a new on me.

I have extended my writing sabbatical in Atlanta for 7 more months, 2 more months than planned. I am a little behind schedule anyway so it is all good. I will be apply for an MFA program at NYU, Columbia or Queens College or UCLA. Those are my choices. So I should be in one by next January at the latest. I will have two books published, working on my autobiography “Turning Black at 20” and will be on my way to becoming a professor! I’m excited! And nervous, that is a lot work but I’m always up for a challenge! Remember your life is your career, not your job!

I visited Asali in New Orleans this past weekend. We are working on grants for Akoben. Don’t forget to clear your calendars for the 2nd weekend in October! It was emotional being there. I was overwhelmed with thoughts, ideas, poems, songs…it was like I could hear them screaming, I could see them running. I did a small set for Hollywood at his spot in the French Quarter at this black owned club called Dream. He said it is the only Black owned club that is opened back up since the storm. It is a beautiful space. You should check him out on Thursdays when you are there. The house was packed and their faces so intense. You could tell they needed something, anything. An escape, some hope, motivation. It was so wild. I just did my set and kinda mentioned my album. I didn’t expect them to buy it, really, I didn’t. Someone blurted out “Do you take FEMA checks?” It broke the ice, the crowd laughed and I said “Hell yeah!” I had a line of folk after the short set and no one had a FEMA check! Hahaha…Most of them said “Thank you…we needed that” I cried.

The next day Asali and I walked the Quarter getting blitzed…something about a man leaving his car running with the keys in it…and getting stuck in the St. Patrick’s day parade…no, no …we didn’t steal his car…don’t worry…yeah, you had to …exactly…!

All of my excitement has been void of poetry lately ahahha!

While out there, I posted an interview on my LJ and My Space that I didn’t make any huge announcements about. I know that my LJ and My Space bloggs get hit up quite a bit and there wasn’t a newsletter do out yet. Sure enough, someone hits me back, anonymous, and lets me know that my sexual preference is “destroying the entire black race” I thought that was hilarious! I laughed out loud for a good, real, 5 minutes. I deleted it and left to get my nose double pierced. Irony has it that while I waited 45 minutes for the piercer to finish a tattoo I watched a DVD they had playing on the store’s TV: 2005’s Top Hip-Hop Videos. It should have been 2005’s Raunchiest music videos. It included every booty-shaking, breast showing, might-as-well-have-been-nude video out in 2005. I wondered if this LJ stalker had seen this video and if so was the origin of my sexuality a fair comparison to this? I mean really, they must have missed Nelly swiping his credit card through some sisters ass cheeks, or all of the vagina shots, from the back, or whatever other feminine degrading pornographic during prime time shots there were.

I wondered if this LJ-er even thought about how I’ll never have the commercial air-play or the impact on millions of listeners at one time as do the geniuses that came up with “Do it do it…Booty all around…Laughy Taughy..Whistle while you twerk” or whatever other song these record industry and drug dealers turned hip hop artists because they have the capital to push shit on the radio that underground artists don’t have, I wonder if this LJ-er has even turned on the radio in the last, say, 10 years? I laughed again and chalked it up to this LJ-er is just upset that I haven’t slept with him/her or if we have, then they are mad that we are not anymore! Hahah! Get off me.

Hip-Hop Trivia Question: Who is my favorite male Hip Hop artist? Hint; this artist always says “motherfuckah” after he says his name in any “song” he is in! hahaha

Some of my favorite quotes: When my boo turns bitch, that’s my que to switch.
Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.
FEMA evacuation plan: Run MothaFucka Run! (this was on a T-shirt in the French Quarter)

Hip Hop and people are very similar: take what you need, give what you can, and leave the rest to the owners.

Bi-Coastal Poet: After LA, I check back in the “A” for a few days and head to Ny for my first Spotlight at the Nuyorican ever! It was off the hook! Before that Samantha Raheem, Mo Browne and I check out Urban Word the Nyc Youth Slam Finals! Talk about off the chain! The slam at the Nuyo was anti-climatic (and scary…there was a terrorist in the slam, or at least a multi-mudering, sharp shooter that has meetings with other “red necks in the woods”) to say the least after that high energy 2 hour bout of youth poets battling it out to be part of the ’06 Nyc Youth Slam Team! Their poems were creative, clever and extremely well written! Whomever is coaching them is doing a great job!

Nathan P! Give thanks for showing me so much hospitality! And..uh, making me feel safe! Hahahah…The Nuyo was off the hook…give thanks for the sisters that came out to see me that couldn’t get in because it was packed! Mo’s show the next night was incredible Off Broadway! Jive and you are multi-talented/taskeded-ed  too!

Ok Question of the week: So I thought, I would start dating again. Check out the ‘scene’. Well, that has quickly come to a screeching halt. Three great poems have come out of it though. I wrote one yesterday…they say during masturbation you are closer to God than any other mortal time on earth. During this daily ritual of mine this poem starting to come to me, no pun intended. I was trippin’ because I didn’t know if I should finish what I was doing or stop, write down the poem and resume. I decided that if I finish what I was doing the entire piece would write itself and if I stop now then I might short myself of a masterpiece! Hahaha.. That poem is called “It was”.

There is “Game over” that I wrote about a month or so ago and of course “PENSKE” which you can find on my website.

So…the question of the week: I was seeing this brother and he asked me if I was seeing anyone else and I said “no”. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else and he said “no”. Ok, so a few days later we are discussing HIV tests and the possibility of becoming sexually involved. (down here there is a hospital the does HIV tests 24 hours a day) He then tells me that he is ‘sleeping with’ two other people! I was like…ooooooooookkkkkkkkkkk….I thought you said that you weren’t “seeing” anyone. He said he wasn’t and that I didn’t ask him if he was “sleeping” with anyone. Wow. Well, I was glad to find this out before we became intimate. I took a day to think about it, and decided I’m no longer interested. Too bad, I was excited about this brother. Pun intended. I have since deleted his number from my I930 and he has called me twice trying to switch his story up. Naw, thanks, shawty. I’m straight on that.

So, if you ask someone or if someone asks you if you are/they are ‘seeing’ someone is it the same as asking if you are/they are ‘sleeping’ with someone?

I mean this seems to me like someone’s idea of manipulating a situation to their benefit. It also shows their lack of maturity, not allowing the other person to make a healthy decision for themselves. Maturity does not allow you to take away someone’s ability to make their own decisions. That is just the fear of something not going the way you want it to. That is selfish. My 02.

I will say that the lesson for the week is to ask both, however, call me naïve, I answered ‘no’ because it was true for both. Before hanging up on this brother and blessing him out, I gave him a really logical talk about health and safety.

So I’m back to locking myself in the house until my book is finished. I won’t be answering the phone or going out until I go on tour next week to Memphis and VA. By then the first editor should have my manuscripts in their inbox and mailbox, FINALLY! WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

However, I’d love to hear your answers to the question of the week. I’ll be checking my email/myspace/Lj and will post the most intriguing answers.

Have fun! Be safe! Wrap it up! Be honest and if you think you are being honest, fine, be MORE honest!

Conscious-Awake-and Aware,
Queen Sheba

It was

I think of you
Matter-o-fact
I call your name several times
He thinks it’s a challenge
A way to get him to respond to me
He thinks I’m kidding
You run across my mind
When he bends my thighs sideways
Giving him that pressure he likes
He’s the type to like it difficult
Not like you
You were gentle
Took me easy
I don’t participate with him
I just allow him to have his way
He thinks I am playing hard to get
He likes the detachment
I see your fingers on my thighs
The pressure marks from you shifting me
Sideways then backwards
I refuse to kneel before him and
give honor to his salute
Like I did for you
That would be personal
And there is nothing personal between him and I
Just you
This is just a call of nature
An animalistic need
An instinct
Something masturbation could never master
A calling only you know the mantra to
Your almond shaped eyes that look at me from
down under
He pulls my legs west and east
And I remember how you knew about that chakra behind my knees
He describes how I glisten before tasting my honey
Teasing my pearl
Kissing the under curve of my thigh
I moan
That is for you, too
He thinks I am enjoying him
I am remembering you
His movements are like break beats off rhythm
I follow his lead remembering our ballroom dance
The precision of your Capporea
It is your curls my fingertips glide through
He thinks I am lying
Taunting him
I say your name again
A thousand more breaths leave me for you
It is your wrinkles in his brow
I trace with my lips
Your eye brows
Your cheekbones
Your chin
He believes this affection is for him
It turns him on how I am detached and passionate
It is your fingers I see when he strokes himself
In anticipation of me
It is your shaft
That traces the crescent of my moon
When I am not facing him
He is searching for a welcome sign
An invitation to enter this private party of ours
I giggle
reminded how you never needed a pass for the back door
It is your breath against my cheeks
When he is hovering over my shoulder
Face first in the pillow
Pounding away to some Hip-Hop song in his head
I run my palms over his ass and remember our dance to that contemporary jazz singer I introduced you to
then we loved together
Track 3 on repeat
For four hours
Under me I straddle him awkward
Like I did for you
Tilt my head back and close my eyes
This is your ride
Your hands pulling me in closer
Your ridges
Your canal
Your voice that beckons me to cum
For you
On you
For you
For you
For you
These are your convulsions
I am collapsing because of your
Desire to please me first
Your shoulders I kiss in exhaustion
My breath on your chest
My cheeks on your stomach
Your thighs
It is your fingers over my crowns
Your teeth on my nipples
Pulling them slowly
nibbling on them
You quickly learned how sensitive they are
And how the sensation is directly connected
Kissing one and teasing the other
Like a suckling child not ready to be weaned
It is your kiss on my forehead
Your tongue in my navel
My small hands across your belly
He grunts as I call your name again
I am waiting for your answer
His pounding changes songs
Something southern ‘cause he is crunk now
And I wait for the track to change
Listening for you to say you love me back
I stair through the ceiling and watch his back arch and fall
Like a young antelope caught and defeated
by this lioness
His chest expanding and collapsing next to me
Asks if it was good
I tell him yes
Because
It was

Copyrights 2006 © Queen Sheba Oya Xclusive Int’l

Current Mood: Get-er-done!

Current Music: Kelly Love Jones Live at the 5 Spot

(7 comments | Leave a comment)

Feb. 27th, 2006

05:23 pm - Interview by Atlanta underground paper April@aprillove.com

Who is Queen Sheba? What makes you tick and what motivates you as a writer and as a woman? Queen Sheba was womanifested over 10 years ago during the birth of Spoken Word in Norfolk, VA, where I was residing. During that period the presence of ancestry was prominent in our work. We were trying to regain a lost culture. In that, many of us named ourselves after kings and queens of old. I, however, think that our names our given to us before birth. My given name is Bethsheba who was once coveted by King David in the Bible. The Ethiopian Queen of Sheba; Mekeda also has a lot of spirit and presence in my name. Many times promoters, emcees, and such will introduce me incorrectly calling me “Queen of Sheba” this does not bother me because any way you say it, my actions and presence are that of a queen.

As a woman I am very much involved with many woman’s rights organizations; Mothers Against the war (I happen to be for war, just not this particular one. War is a necessary, we, as Africans living in America are just on the wrong side.) I am an office member of (Vice President) the Tidewater National Organization for Women chapter, I have been called to action by the Coalition of Negro Women in Washington, DC and I am supporter of any and all GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual, Transgender) associations.

I fight for women’s rights and against oppression and sexual mutilation of women in foreign countries. I fight against sexual assault and violence towards women. I have been the Key Note speaker several times during National Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October) and have given speeches and performed during multiple Take Back the Night Campaigns.

What makes me tick is the constant movement and struggle to level classism. Today’s struggles are much more about classism than racism. A lot of our African people in America are very wealthy, however, they have fallen short on their obvious political responsibility to further our African culture.

I could go on and on…

Where were you born and raised?

That simple question is very loaded. I was born in Kalamazoo, MI, a few hours outside of Detroit. However, I usually lie, or I have until this point. I have made up elaborate stories about my birth. I was put up for adoption at 8 months so I used to lie and say that my mother was a Peace Corp activist living in Africa and was with child from an African in a village she was working in and they were both very much in love. She later came to the US and had me. Gave me up for adoption and went back to Africa to be with her man.

I was put up for adoption in Kalamazoo, MI where I was born. The family that raised me was living in Jackson, MI we later moved to Detroit all within a few months. I think they were even in the process of selling the house when I was adopted. I was adopted April 17, 1977 I was 2 and a half.

At 15 I was put in a youth home in Grand Rapids, MI; Wedgewood Acres, for being too rebellious. Go figure! After a year, I went back to Detroit to an “open program” where I live in a regular house with strangers that were basically there taking in children to collect a check from the state. I was moved around 3 times all while my “family” was just a few miles away. That didn’t last all of my junior year of high school. I spent one last night in an abandon building and went back up to Grand Rapids where I got involved in, selling drugs and participating in prostitution. All the while still in the Wedgewood Acres program. I finished high school on time and kicked it around Grand Rapids until my ‘high school sweet heart’ sent me a letter from Norfolk, VA and asked me to marry him. I had no intentions on it but I said yes to get out of the hell I was living in, in Grand Rapids. Between graduation and his letter, I was dating one of the older cousins of the De Barge family. I was 18 he was 40-something, couldn’t read and extremely abusive.

On the night before my greyhound was to leave for VA, I hit him unconscious with a frying pan. Took one suitcase and jumped in cab to the bus station and prayed he didn’t come after me before the bus left. I have not seen him since. For some reason, I think he died (not from the frying pan) but from drugs several months later.

I met the young man from high school in VA after a 24 bus trip and told him I was not interested in getting married at 18 and basically “I’ll hollah!” he locked me in a closet until the police came to let me out. I have strong lungs!

Up until 6 months ago, I lived in Norfolk, VA. Went to and graduated from Old Dominion University with two undergrad degrees (I’m going back for my MFA this fall!) now I live in the “A” trying to cause the least amount of trouble as possible!

So…I have grown everywhere I have ever been …and will continue to.

When and where did you find your voice in poetry/spoken word, and what affect did it have on you and your life?

I have always written poetry, actually. I wrote my first poem when I was 7-years-old and even that had a hint of social-political flavor. Spoken Word was introduced to me when I was at Old Dominion University. I was involved with a poetry group and we sang and wanted to get a band together to take on the road. That never happened but it was there that I started to write for something other than my own therapy. I realized that people were coming to listen because they didn’t want to feel alone, they wanted to know and/or believe that there is a possibility to get out of this social mess we are in, to get out of poverty, and unfair wages and segregation and the slavery that is still happening in rich parts of the US. I want so very much to not only be a voice in the movement, but to be on the front lines and become active members in as many organizations as I could honestly dedicate my time to.

That is just the beginning, Goddess has allowed me to develop my voice in several venues, rallies, protests, poetry readers, speeches and lectures. We are always defining ourselves and developing our voices and messages, the trick is, not letting others do it for you.

What is poetry to you?

I don’t even know how to answer that, so I’m going to skip it. I mean, ok maybe I won’t skip it, but ‘poetry’ is another loaded subject. I studied poetry, the classics in college but it is not the same, to me, now. I will say that I think that poetry has a responsibility that I don’t think any other genre has. I think that once we find something poetic, and the writer is the finder, then we have a responsibility to represent the truth in it. Not necessarily all of the facts, but the truth and there is a difference.


What is the difference between poetry and spoken word to you?

Spoken Word is the performance aspect of poetry. If you look on my website http://www.queensheba.org I conduct workshops that explain the page vs. the stage. Spoken Word is written to be heard first and maybe hit the page later. Traditional poetry is written to appease the readers first and was never really intended to be performed, especially not by people other than the other. In Spoken Word, it is common to pick up Nikki Giovani or Elaine Brown or Dr. Tuere and read their works, (with proper credit of course). This is a sign of giving homage or thanks for those that have paved the way for our voices to be heard.

I want to dispel the rumor that Poetry is boring and Spoken Word is all hype. That is not completely true for either. Poetry is an elegant form of writing, that should take time and several edits to develop. Spoken Word, also, should take time and several edits to develop a carefully constructed and crafted piece however, some, especially new artists, spew their thoughts on paper and leave them in the rough. Not to say that some pieces can’t be genius in that form, however, a careful review of everything in life could stand to use some changes.

Who were your motivators, and what part did they play in your growth as a writer?
My motivators are the people that you pass by every day. The people you take for granted; the bus driver that has been on his job 25 years, the single mother that wouldn’t take her son/daughters (we seem to forget in our work that several women are prominent drug dealers as well, I am not saying this to celebrate it but to bring awareness to the social unbalance of always blaming men) drug money to pay the rent, the news journalist that continues to get pushed to bottom of the line up, teachers with credentials that would allow them to work in universities that stay in the inner city school programs, the athletes that decided to turn down an multi-million dollar contract so they could have a family and more substance in their lives, the drug dealers that sell drugs long enough to make it through college, the prostitutes going to night school, the single fathers that don’t put their single parenting on blast for a daily award, the black cops that look out for his people instead of condemning them. These people are my motivators.

As a writer, what are some of the challenges you have had?

The biggest challenge I have as a writer is myself. It is important to me that I am always developing my writing, that I am not complacent in my work. In the beginning of my professional writing career I found that I was writing, not only the same thing, same topic but the exact same way. Kind of like R. Kelly I found a rhythm that worked and stuck with it. By the grace of other great writers, mentors, and several writing workshops that I attended I was able to address my writing and get back on track with a full development process.

I am not a male-basher. I don’t believe in it. Men have a hard enough time validating their existence in this world, we do not need to add to the emasculation of their egos and self esteem. I have had my dynamic experiences with brothers but I am also bi-sexual so I have had my fair share of dynamic experiences with women so it would be off balance of me to write “male bashing” poems. Admit tingly, I have one “Pawns”…now, it is over 4 years old and I bring it out to slam with sometimes but that is about it. To tell the further truth about it, that piece was more influenced by the female relationship I was in at the time, with peppering of some of my male experiences but because I was warned that the Spoke Word world shuns the homosexual population I was heavily advised to turn the she to he, so I did. I don’t really regret that decision, I vowed, after I learned that the advisor was an idiot, to never deny anything about myself ever again.


What was your purpose for coming to the Atlanta area and how long will you be here?

I am on what most scholars call a sabbatical. Which just means you are taking time away from the world to develop something about yourself. You may need to work on a book, do some traveling…whatever. At the end of the summer, I was at a place in my life where I really wanted to move out of Norfolk, VA. There is a glass ceiling there for all art forms and it was stifling my creativity. I called several of my woman friends around the country, that are artists, and interviewed them about their life, how they are able to operate as an artist in their area, what was the work like, the opportunities like, and then I interviewed them about their living conditions and their neighborhoods. I hadn’t moved in over 7 years and my rent in Norfolk was extremely affordable! I was shocked at the realestate game, the prices and the interest rates! Crazy but I understood. I decided on Atlanta because I know a lot of the poets that already live here, I have a good friend that lives in Stone Mountain that offered to share her space and she had the space available and I knew would be patient enough with me to hold my hand until I was able to maneuver around the metro area on my own.

The entire underground, scholastic, activist, and mainstream has been extremely open, warm and receptive to my arrival. I have been extremely fortunate to have received so many offers to speak, feature, become apart of a few panels at local universities, give talks to women on campuses and other incredible events already! Unfortunately, I have an extremely booked schedule and haven’t been able to make all of the requested appearances but by the grace of God my accolades and reputation have proceeded me so it made the transition easy.

Right now, I am hosting an open mic every Monday night at Djangos in conjunction with the Organized Rhyme Family and Rolling Out Magazine. So if I am not on tour (which I am in LA, CA on tour typing this to you) I will be at Djangos holding it down! The open mic will be there if I am or not however we have a funky good time when I am!

My goals are to complete the manuscript for my fourth poetry book “Onyame” (God in Twi one of the 42 dialects in Ghana) and begin the process of my autobiography “Turning Black at 20” due out Feb 2006. Right now, I am about 3 months behind! Hah! I moved to the “A” Sept 1st and stayed in the house writing with discipline for the first four months. I began venturing out around December and haven’t stopped working and traveling since! God bless it…for sure! I have packed a bag full of poems and short stories to get to typing while I am on the road and after I finish this long-ass interview (I know it is my fault, I talk a lot hahha) I will be getting back to my manuscript. I have several offers already from various publishing companies, to include Book Surge, to put it out so I am working on interviewing all of them.

My initial plan was only to stay in Atlanta long enough to complete these two goals, however…hahahah…I am beginning to really enjoy the atmosphere here and I am thinking about settling down and raising my family here. Yes, I do have one son, Allerik 11, and I am in a new love relationship so we are making wedding plans and talking about have other children. He has one daughter. His name will remain out of the presses until the reception hall is paid for! *smile* Hahaha-He could trip out and I will be back to being single tomorrow! Hahah …He is though, a wonderful brother, poet, activist and teacher.

The unfortunate thing is that there isn’t an MFA program at Clark Atlanta in creative writing so we will see if I stay or find another MFA program and then return to Atlanta. I am definitely considering making this home, or LA…you just never know where God is going to take you!


How and when was your company founded and what type of company is it?

Oya Xclusive International was founded July 2001 as an events planning and promotional company. Since then, I have expanded it. In addition to the events planning and promotional aspect, I, also run a non-traditional record label Xclusively for poets. I founded the only Poetry Competition and Music Festival designed for poets of color; Word Up! Word Up was by another name in it’s creation, I was blessed with taking over the festival and then expanding it to poets that live outside of the country. We celebrated our 5-year-anniversary this past May. The festival has always been in Norfolk, VA and it is small in number only attracting 1,000 people for the entire weekend, however it is the best time poets have all year!

Last year (May 2005), Oya Xclusive, for the first time, picked up another poetry organization to partner with us in planning and running the event. PoZazz, Inc. the largetst poetry troupe and organization in the country residing in New Orleans, LA. From another time zone away they assisted in raising money, organizing, and running the event. The core of the organization came to Norfolk to assist in the entire weekend of events.

We decided, as activists and modern day revolutionaries that we would make the festival a call to action giving it a dual name: Akoben International Poetry Competition and Music Festival. We decided that Word Up! Would always remain in Norfolk, VA and Akoben would travel to New Orleans the following year, 2006. In addition the Akoben side of the festival or the call to action made it a requirement for poets to participate in community service to even be considered for the competition aspect of the festival. Poets that wanted to slam were required to complete 3 community service activities organized by Oya Xclusive and PoZazz, Inc before their arrival.

Poets painted, fixed houses, performed at shelters, participated in a protest rally among several other activities. It has been the talk of the slam festival community since! This year, since I have moved, I am not sure if the remaining poetry community will be throwing Word Up! In Norfolk, however, Akoben will always remain a major project of Oya Xclusive International and will be in New Orleans the 2nd weekend in October so pack your bags! It is going to be the best year ever!

To learn more about the festival http://www.akobenpoetryfestival.com

My record label is a consulting company for poets that are serious about putting out a quality album. We assist them in getting the project together up to 14 tracks. We put them on a 6 month, promotion and marketing campaign around the country, booking them for shows and events to help develop their fan base and get their album in the hands of thousands. After their project is complete we set up several radio, tv and print interviews then throw them a album release party. After that they are on their own. By this time they have the option of remaining with Oya Xclusive as a permanent artist, joining our roster for distribution, marketing and performances or they are free to go with minimal restraints on any of their music. The artists maintains 100% of their rights.

At this time, the music industry is not picking up Spoken Word albums in the quanities we had hoped by now, so we are non-tradition record label. To our credit we have put out 6 successful projects in the last 5 years. Booked artists in over 300 shows domestic and abroad and have been a part of the largest music festival in the world Jan ’05; Medim in Cannes France.

We are going to be adding music videos, dvds, online and regular distribution to our consulting package. We are looking for a few artists so if you are serious about working we will be serious about you. Non-performance artists need not apply.

Do you have any published works, where can the public locate them?
The trunk baby! No,…hhhaa..just kidding! My entire catalog is online http://www.queensheba.org give thanks to Jeff Hewitt in Norfolk, VA for getting me on point. I always have albums on me, in my purse, my bag, in my trunk, under my arm. So if you ever see me out anywhere and want one you just have to ask!

I am published in ESSENCE magazine Nov ’05. VIBE magazine June ’04. Syracuse University anthology Feb ’06, South Florida Urban Griot Sept ’05 and several several several more! I have 3 books and 4 albums, the latest being a double disc in my arsenal.

On my website you will also find the listing of all the stores that my products are in. Look for me in Target and Best Buy this summer! You can catch me at Tower Records and many others already!


What does the saying, “Embracing the child within,” mean to you and your life?

We have to stay young, fresh, reinventing ourselves! We have to know where we came from to move forward. Stay hungry…stay humble. Children always tell the truth, they come from the gut and I’m a fan of staying true.

“People are going to do what they need to do until they need to change it,” –Queen Sheba Activist

Current Mood: giddy

Current Music: Black Eyed Peas

(Leave a comment)

Feb. 23rd, 2006

02:03 am - Emotinal Roller Coaster

I find it hard to answer emails that are extremely emotional. I received a few in my inbox this month. Some folk (an Atlanta term without an ‘s’-you have to use the deepest part of your vocal cords and bob your head down to on side when you say ‘folk’) have been reaching out asking detailed questions concerning my life and how I respond to things. I am just ‘waking up’ again myself so these emails sit in my inbox for weeks until I have the strength to answer them. It is almost the same emotion that rushes through me when I am memorizing a poem that is extremely emotional for me, one that took months to write and seconds to memorize because it was just a matter of getting the schematics of the piece in order, I already know the story. I continue to live it.

So apologies to Asia (Tampa, FL) your email through me into one of those dark rooms. One of those places that I have to walk through with a flare, holding it in front of me to burn away the cobwebs before they get stuck in my afro or end up on my face. Your email still sits in my Myspace inbox waiting for that time of day that I have an hour to read it a thousand times, stare at it for another hour and then answer it. Maybe this is the answer. I think that “I don’t know” is a cop out. You always know. You always know how you feel about everything, so if you ever ask someone how they ‘feel’ and they say “I don’t know” they are lying. Period.

Life is fun and exciting again! I had a hard time for a moment there but “…the sun will rise tomorrow…” How vain is that to quote yourself!?! I ain’t heard of that! That is my quote! I love Slim Thugga!

-Queen MotherFuquen Sheba

Current Mood: Ampted Up!...

Current Music: Vivian Green

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

Feb. 15th, 2006

Jan. 31st, 2006

08:45 pm - Purity...

Life prepares you for many things and you don't even know when or why. Clearly, my track career during middle and high school was not to prepare me for the Olympics like I had thought during those years but to prepare me to run, in my high heels, 2 and a half blocks from the venue in Toronto after the show two Sundays ago after I sold out of the 50 albums I brought to put on the table, racing back to my hotel room, that was luckily kinda-sorta across the street to retrieve the remaining 30 I had in my suitcase. Something told me to grab all of them but I was like, "hey...50 would be a good night" well, there were still people after the 2nd run, literally, that were left empty handed and slightly disapointed. A few have already hit me up on line.

It has been two years since my last When Sisters Speaks in T-dot, otherwise known as Toronto, headed by Dwayne Morgan, the only reason to do poetry in Toronto, and it felt good to get on a plane, and ...well, do what I always do on a plane...sleep. In previous years Dwayne allowed me the comfort of his spare futon, this year, we were headed away from his and his new wife's newly purchased home. I will have to remember to stay away longer more often! The hotel was beautiful and had that touch of European flavor as Toronto is slowly taking on a lot of European aspects in it's architecture and sky line. He dropped me off and I found my way to the sana and work out room. Shameal, my new assistant has got me jogging again. I had stopped for a few months over the "winter" but Atlanta doesn't really have a winter, I think I wore a heavy coat a whole twice. I took my time getting dressed and by the time I was finished I was greeted by Nathan P. from New Yorks' Nuyorican Cafe! We talked and I bounced across the street to get some food. I was starving. I show up at the Old Spaghetti Factory and forgot that I had my beauty marks on my forehead and my redblackandgreen skirt on that clearly was attracting some awesome attention. I wish I had the sister' card that made it for me so many folk (that is an ATL term-I'm starting to get the hang of it) asked about it.

I was barely able to move after the appetizer, salad, main pasta and desert. Traveling always makes me hungry! I am practicing eating more healthy and taking my time. For some reason I have always rushed through my meals and it may seem corny but taking your time actually makes you respect and appreciate the food. Wow...I just had a flash of The Hostel....gross! Anywho, the show was to start soon and I headed around the corner to find a place to meditate. Dwayne always makes us feel like a super star, we all had dressing rooms in addition to the greenroom full of food and Red Bull! Red Bull is everywhere!

The show was incredible! Those of us in the 2nd half were albe to find, and barely find because it was a packed house of over 500 people!, a seat near the top of the theatre and just watch in amazement the incrediblely talented women that graced the stage one after anotther! The Carribean Dance Team dedicated thier set to a local that was apparently murdered recently. In addition Gemini from their local morning radio show dedicated a piece about gun violence to this same brother. There was singing, dance, poetry! The murmers through the audience were that of this years 'When Sisters Speak' out did 'When Brothers Speak' and I think that is usually not the case. In addition When Brother's Speak usually holds two shows and WSP usually has it's one. I was elated. I was so nervous and excited by the time I took the stage to close the show. We were running behind schedule so it was up to me to get off the stage in my aloted time so Dwayne wouldn't be charged with extreme overages from the theatre union. It was crazy! The audience was so receptive from the very first person to open the show two hours prior to the very end...they laughed, cried, took silence and shouted to for and at everyone! It was probably the best audience I had ever, ever seen and I've seen some incredible ones!

Dwayne has his shows oiled out so there is no need to stand by the product table and sell your products, they pretty much sell themselves and we stand to the side and talk with the audience members while signing autographs. That is always such and honorable and enjoyable experience for me. In the middle of one autograph Dwayne yells, "Do you have anymore of Get Familiar?" I finished the signing and left a line of people with their eyes bugging out of their head, sprinted out the door, around the corner, across a street, up the elevator (I was bouncing waiting for it to arrive) down the hall, open the door, piled the rest of the albums in a skirt and retraced my steps in olympic record breaking time, made the hand off and returned to the line, in a sweet sweat and out of breath. While I was gracefully sprinting in my strappy wrap up sandles a car stopped in the middle of the street and a car full of women started yelling 'VA! VA! Go VA!' it was halarious!

What? You didn't think I would start saying I was from Atlanta do you? Of course I mention that I moved there but I always rep VA! When I'm asked 'where I'm from' I say Norfolk, not even Detroit. Detroit doesn't count...VA is where I developed my line of thinking...Atlanta will be where I mature it..

So anxious to become more responsible this year I was 4 hours early for my flight the next morning! I arrived at 9:30 for a flight I thought left at 11am! ahhha...I found what??? 3 chairs and stretched out...you know the poem...

After an incredible weekend away, I find myself, what I thought was subbing for a host on Monday night downtown Atlanta. I have joined Black Out Altanta and have obviously joined the Organized Rhyme family without knowing it, however I'm extremely excited about it! Organized Rhyme is made up of Haziq from Washington, DC and Tommy Bottoms and now me. They are in charge of the night and I am lending my hosting talents each Monday. I didn't realize this was permanent thing until I was helping pass out flyers one day this past weekend and noticed my name on the back! That was exciting. There are only about 5 consistant poetry shows that are the jump off here in the "A" and definitly Monday night is one of them, so I'm excited to be a part of something already so jumpin'!

Last week, my first week, I was slightly intimidated by all the Hip Hop artists that showed up but quickly learned that the gangsta rap is just that...on paper. They were all so pleasent it was refreshing surprise. Just brothers trying to appease the rap game. Some of the brothers were so off the hook with their skills I wish they would just do them instead of doing what they think we want, but hey, we are all guilty of trying to fit in at some point.

It was exciting to be called by the promoters of The Vagina Monolougs to be a part of "That takes overies!" an all female show featuring myself and Kelly Love Jones, originally from New Orleans now living in the "A". I can't say I never have, but I don't remember the last time I cried during someone else's feature. She is just so amazing...I have her album on repeat and probably know most of the words to her songs, the hooks at least. She is the first artist to really 'speak to my soul' in a long time. There are other amazing and talented individuals in the world, however it takes a stellar artist to move me to tears.

Well, I'm off to another few months of a crazy schedule! See you on the underground soon!

Current Mood: Motivated!

Current Music: Kelly Love Jones - With or without you...

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

Jan. 11th, 2006

07:06 am - Don't call it a come back..

love Slim Thug! 1-he is fine as all hell and 2-that is about it. He said "If you love me you'll smile, if you don't you'll frown..." uh, ok, he is no poet but a great business mind! I'd love to have a rountable with him. I have to honestly say, that my exposure to all this down-south music is really, really interesting. Tippin' on 4-4s! hah! Sexy!

Mary's album is so-so. Jamie Foxx, except for a few raunchy references is great and Lil' Kim, one of my motivations for strong woman power and femine energy (you're trippin'), her album is off the hook-for the first 5 or 6 tracks, in the middle she loses me a little then she brings it back for the last 2. I have to get a Free Lil' Kim t-shirt!

_______________________________________

"So what do you call it, then?" Bon Ton asks...I said, "What?" I tried explaining the 'Don't call it a come back' reference. He said, "I know that. So, what do you call it then?" I thought about it for a second and couldn't come up with something extremely witty, then, or even now. The first thing I thought of was corny and too sentimental and I am tired of being sentamental right now. Exhausted. I had been sentimental, mushy, overly romanticizing yada yada for the past few months and I finally said 'fuque it' and remembered a comment someone made to me over 6 years ago that stuck with me, "Nobody cares" and she didn't literally mean 'nobody cares', it is just a way to say 'relax'. That statement is powerful though, if you think about it: Nobody cares one way or another. Do you, or don't. Nobody cares.

So...it can also be motivating and stress releiving because if nobody cares you don't have to put yourself under so much pressure. I'm not saying none at all is healthy but not so much that we make ourselves sick, sleepless and constantly on the wieght yo-yo. Ladies feel me.

You can relax in 'doing you' completely. I learned a long time ago, if you are comfortable with it...everyone else will be. This excites me!

Today starts my 6 month 'tour' I spent most of the fall home. I tried to stay in the house. Hide out in the "A". Then my roommate went out of town and us Leos dont' like being alone. We are lion/esses and we need to be around other folk. I started venturing out into the world of underground Hip-Hop and poetry in the "A".

It actually has been great. The lord does not allow you to leave the crib without being responsible for something. All I wanted to do was sleep my life away and watch a few shows. Nah...wasn't going down like that. I found old friends that got swallowed up by the "A" years ago, I have become part of a poetry crew, how that happened I dunno but the 'crew' is awesome so I decided to follow through, I started being invited out to this or that and most importantly, I started back with my friend the keypad on my book again!

Today marks the first day of my 6 month rock out, new poem every week! Rip a stage to shreds work out and as usual, I will spend the late summer and fall writing and developing! Look for new pictures, postcards, posters, etc!

It is 6:47am and I have made friends with the dawn again. Mid-morning is now lunch time and the late night hours are Public Practice. My january shows are up here and on my website http://www.queensheba.org nicely reorganized by Jeff Hewit out of Norfolk/VA Beach, VA.

My new tatoos will be by anyone someone else refers me to and if I can ever get in on Chills busy ass schedule! with my limited time each VA visit , photo shoots will be taken by Jenell for Sujen Photography in Norfolk and Phokus (the guitar player not the poet) in the "A". My DVD will be taped, edited and produced by WHGTv, hosted by Queen. Make sure you come out to Djangos on Monday the 16th for the taping! New underground clothing by Molly in the "A" and Natural in Toledo! The post office lost the box that was delivered, to who?-not my crib-, 3 days ago and they are just like 'there is nothing we can do ma'am!' Uhg! That is ok, Naturual, Memphis will see your work another time! And my tour, will be scheduled by you! Hollah at me or my new personal assistant, Shameal Nelson sknelson29@aol.com (you have no idea how I need one these days) and we'd love to add it to the Spring and Summer schedule!

I will see all you European folk again in June!

Tora! Angela Davis! (inside joke)

Don't call it a come back...I've been here for years!



//qs

Current Mood: Totally controling the flirt!

Current Music: Lil Kim

(14 comments | Leave a comment)

Navigate: (Previous 20 Entries)